


Not-So-Charming

by my_mad_fatuation



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11997852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Rae is just starting school at the University of Oxford, when she runs into an old friend, Chloe, who introduces her to her mates, including the not-so-charming Finn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story is farfetched because it was inspired by a dream I had, and my dreams never make sense. I had to make up a bunch of crap for it.

“Rae?”

Rae looked up from her phone and saw a young woman about her age walking quickly towards her.

“Rae, is that you?” the young woman said.

“How did you—Oh my god, Chloe?” Rae replied, finally recognizing her.

“Yeah! Wow, good to see you!” When she was closer, Chloe gave Rae a hug. “How long has it been?”

“Several years, at least…”

“What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for the bus.”

“I mean here in town.”

“I go here now.”

“Go where?”

“Oxford.”

“No way!”

“…Way,” said Rae, uncomfortable with how surprised Chloe seemed to be about that.

The girls had known each other back in school, before Chloe moved away when her dad got a job teaching at the University of Oxford. Even though she knew Chloe might still be around, Rae wasn’t expecting to randomly run into her while waiting for the bus.

“So where are you off to, now?” asked Chloe.

“Heading back to my room.”

“Oh, no, you have to come have a drink with me and my friends! They’re really cool; I think you’d like them!”

 _How do you know what kind of people I’d like?_ Rae thought to herself. _You haven’t talked to me in years._

“I probably shouldn’t,” she said.

“I insist, really.” Chloe held her by the arm and started to pull her away from the bus stop. “The pub’s just a couple blocks this way.”

Rae figured there was no point in arguing—Chloe was still stubborn—so she followed her. It wasn’t as though she had anything to do back at her room except plot ways to murder her roommate and get away with it.

They got to the pub, which was more of a hipster pub-style bar, and Chloe introduced Rae to her friends: Archie, Izzy, Chop, and Finn. Rae greeted them with a small wave as she took a seat next to Chloe nervously.

“Where’d you find this one, then?” Chop asked gruffly, but then he smiled to suggest his harsh tone was a joke.

“I went to school with Rae, way back in the day,” Chloe explained. “Never expected to run into her here, though! Right, Rae?”

Rae couldn’t help but feel she was being insulted somehow, but she just nodded.

“Do you not speak, or what?” Finn said to her.

“Give her a break,” said Izzy. “She’s only just got here and already she has to deal with crap from all you boys.”

“Why’d you include me in that?” said Archie. “I haven’t said a thing.”

“You were going to.”

“All I was going to say was that it’ll be good to get some fresh blood around here.” He eyed Chop and Izzy accusatorially. “Things have been getting a bit incestuous, so to speak. No offence, Finn.”

“Shut up,” Finn replied with a laugh that did not sound amused.

“Why would that offend him?” Rae asked, though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“You know, ‘cause he’s a—” Chop began, but Rae could tell that Finn kicked him under the table to make him stop. “—Person of high moral character,” he concluded.

“So, are you all students here?” Rae said once she had gotten a drink.

“If by ‘here,’ you mean this pub, then yes, we are,” said Chop, grinning.

“We all go to the university, if that’s what you’re asking,” Finn answered moodily.

“So does Rae!” Chloe said, almost like she still couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, well, I just started,” Rae added. “I had to get a ton of scholarships just to get here, but you know how it is…”

The confused looks on the others’ faces implied that they did not know.

“Oh…” she said when she realized that all of them could actually afford to be there. That they hadn’t spent every spare moment of the past two years studying to get exceptional grades for scholarships and working to save up money. They were _those_ people.

“That’s really cool, Rae,” said Izzy. “Good for you.” She sounded sincere, but the words still kind of stung.

“Yeah, some of those scholarships are pretty competitive,” said Archie.

“And some are bursaries they give away just for being poor,” Finn added bluntly.

“I got a mixture, thank you very much,” Rae said as she clenched her fists.

“Just ignore him,” said Chop. “He thinks that if he acts like a giant prick, then people will think he has one.”

“That’s funny,” Finn said, clearly unimpressed, while the others laughed.

“All right, who’s picking up the next round?” Chop asked as he finished his pint.

“I think it’s your turn, mate,” said Archie.

“Oh, bollocks.” Chop grumbled and got up from his seat. “Same again for everyone? Rae, how ‘bout you?”

“I just got mine,” she replied timidly.

“Another one, it is!” He pulled Izzy up out of her seat as well to help him carry drinks back.

“But—” Rae began.

Archie put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. “Don’t bother arguing with him.”

She smiled a little and took another sip of her drink. When she looked up, she saw Finn glaring at her, and she wondered what she could have possibly done to make him dislike her so much.

The others didn’t seem to have a problem with her, though. Sure, she didn’t always understand what they were talking about, like when they brought up people she didn’t know and jokes she wasn’t in on, but they at least acknowledged that she was there.

After a couple drinks, she decided she had better go, though, as it was getting late.

“Anyone know what time the bus goes by here?” she asked.

They all looked at her like she was speaking a language none of them understood.

“Why don’t you let me give you a ride?” Archie offered.

“Thanks, but you’ve been drinking, and—”

The others laughed.

“What?” she said.

“I wouldn’t be _driving_ the car, Rae,” he clarified. The rest of them were still tittering.

“Who would be, then?” she asked, looking around the table.

“He’s got a fucking driver,” Finn answered. “We’ve all got drivers.”

Rae looked over at Chloe questioningly.

“Well, I don’t, technically,” Chloe said, “but my parents have got a membership with a car service that I use sometimes…”

Rae realized that she didn’t quite comprehend the world she’d entered.

“Come on, I just texted my driver to get us,” said Archie. “It’ll be faster and safer than taking the bus at this time of night.”

 _Safer to get into a car with strangers?_ she thought.

As if sensing Rae’s trepidation, Chloe chimed in, “I’ll come with you.”

Rae’s residence was not very far, but it was actually nice to get a ride in the dark. She thanked Archie (and his driver) for the ride when she got there, and left the car, figuring she’d never see any of these people again.

***

Even though it was Friday night, Rae had nowhere else she needed to be, so she spent the evening in one of the university’s libraries. She liked to spend most of her time there, in the house of knowledge, but especially Friday nights when it was quiet because everyone else was going out to party. It was just her and a bunch of nerds. Perfect.

She hadn’t realized how late it was until the bell rang signalling that the library would be closed in ten minutes, and it was time for her to leave. She packed up her laptop into her bag and swung it over her shoulder as she stood up.

When she turned around to leave, she noticed someone familiar sitting at the table behind her. It was Chloe’s friend from the other night, Finn. He was still reading like he didn’t realize the place was closing. Or he just didn’t care.

“Hey,” she said quietly, trying to get his attention by waving her arm. “The library’s closing.”

“I know,” he said without looking up from his book.

Rae readjusted her bag on her shoulder as she rolled her eyes and continued towards the stairs.

She heard footsteps behind her, but didn’t realize they were his until he passed her at the exit. She grumbled to herself as she stepped outside and saw a really fancy car parked on the road with a burly man in a suit standing next to the rear door.

 _Of course,_ she thought as she saw Finn approach the car.

The burly man opened the door for him and Finn was about to get in when he stopped and looked back at Rae.

“You’re not going to take the bus, are you?” he asked her.

“I was planning on it,” she said.

“Ugh.” He dropped his head back like he was exasperated, having to do something he really didn’t want to do. “Get in, then.”

“What? No.”

“I can’t in good conscience let you wait around by yourself for the bus at this time of night.”

“I’m fine.”

“Look, I have to insist; chivalry is sort of in my blood.”

“You mean misogyny?”

“That, too.”

“I can take care of myself,” Rae asserted.

“Just get in the fucking car!”

“So much for chivalry…”

“Fine, whatever,” he said, and started to climb into the back seat.

“Wait!” she said after thinking about it for a second. It would be nice not to wait for the bus, she figured.

Finn stepped back out and leaned against the car. “You’ll have to let Jeeves here inspect your bag first.”

“What?” Before she knew what was happening, the burly man snatched her bag off her shoulder and started rummaging through it. “What’s he doing that for?”

“To make sure you haven’t got any weapons,” said Finn casually, like this was a normal thing.

Her bag was returned to her and he ushered her into the back seat of the vehicle. “Why would I have weapons?”

“In case you wanted to kill me.”

“And why would I want to kill you?” she asked, though she could think of a few reasons.

He looked at her as if she had just asked a really stupid question. “Do you not know who I am?”

“You’re Finn…? Right?” She worried for a second that she’d gotten his name mixed up with one of the other guys from the pub.

“Finn Nilsson.”

“…Am I supposed to know that name?”

He scoffed. “Let’s just say my family is quite important.”

“Okay…” Rae was more confused than impressed. “Is that guy’s name really Jeeves?” she added in a whisper.

“Of course not. I’m not about to tell you the actual names of my security detail, am I?”

“I guess not…”

She told him where her residence was located and he informed the driver of their destination. When they arrived, she thanked him before getting out of the car.

“No problem,” he said. “Any friend of Chloe’s is an annoying acquaintance of mine.” He smiled sarcastically at her.

As she walked up to her building, she looked back periodically and saw that the car was still sitting there until she got inside. It was oddly comforting.


	2. Chapter 2

_What am I doing?_ Rae thought to herself later that evening as she googled the name “Finn Neilson.” She was curious about what supposedly important family he came from, though none of the entries she pulled up seemed to be about him. Maybe he was a liar.

_Why do I even care?_ She shut her laptop quickly. He was just some arrogant, self-righteous jerk she’d met twice, and yet here she was trying to google him? _Chill the fuck out, Rae._

But she was chill, wasn’t she? The only reason she went back to the library the following Friday night was because it was her usual thing—or, at least, it had been for the past couple weeks. The fact that she might possibly run into him again was the last thing on her mind.

Which was not to say that it _wasn’t_ on her mind…

But she didn’t see him there that Friday. In fact, it was two more Fridays before she saw him again, by which point she had almost forgotten that she was (not) looking for him.

She didn’t even realize he was there until he came and leaned on the side of the table where she was working.

“Are you always in here Friday nights?” he asked, literally looking down on her.

“Not always,” she lied.

“Are you going to be here ‘till closing?”

“Probably. Why?”

“It’s just that I’m about to go meet up with Chloe and the gang, and it’s not like I care one way or the other, but I know she’d like to see you again.”

“Would she?”

“She keeps talking about how she regrets not getting your number the other day so she could keep in touch.”

“Oh.”

“So you can either come with me now or give me your number to give to her. Your choice.”

“I could do neither.”

“You could… Bye, then.” He stood up straight and turned to leave, but Rae stopped him.

“Just give me a second to pack up my stuff,” she said. She gathered her things into her bag and followed him outside, where she was surprised to see his car, since she thought they’d just be going to the nearby pub.

As it turned out, they were.

When “Jeeves” reached out for her bag, Rae turned to Finn and asked, “Why are we driving when it’s only two blocks away, if we take the pedestrian walkways?”

“They like to keep track of my whereabouts,” he replied.

“Who does?”

“ _Them._ ” He waved his fingers in the air like he was talking about aliens or something.

She figured she wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of him, so she dropped it.

“Fine, hold on.” He went over and said something to “Jeeves” before returning to her. “We’ll walk, then.”

***

When they got to the pub, the others were already sitting at what must have been their usual table.

“I got you a present, Chlo,” Finn said as he sat down.

She glanced at him, confused, before she looked up and saw Rae trailing in behind him. “Oh my god, Rae!” she said, standing up to give her a hug.

“Hiya,” Rae said as she was being squished.

“You’ll stay and have a drink with us, yeah?”

“Oh, well, if you’d like—”

“Of course I’d like it! Oh, but first, I need your number,” Chloe said, pulling her phone out of her purse. “I forgot to get it last time, or else you could have been coming out with us for the past couple weeks now!”

“Okay…” Rae was a little surprised that Chloe wanted her there so badly, since she’d seemed a bit condescending last time Rae was here, but gave her the number anyway and took a seat beside her.

“We were just discussing this year’s fancy-dress party,” Archie explained to the newcomers.

“Yeah? What’s the theme this year?” Finn asked skeptically.

“That’s what we’ve been discussing,” said Chop. “It’s either going to be Celebrity Pets,”—he gestured towards Izzy to indicate that it was her idea—“or Favourite Athletes.”

Rae tried not to let her displeasure show, since she didn’t even think she’d be invited to this party, though both options seemed abysmal.

“Seriously?” said Finn, who did not sound pleased either.

“Have you got a better idea?”

“How about Favourite Dictators Throughout History?” he replied with a smirk.

“Ugh, gross,” said Chloe.

“And to think some day you might actually rule a country,” Chop said to Finn teasingly.

“Shut up,” Finn said, giving him a stern look.

“Are you running for Prime Minister, or something?” Rae asked, chuckling.

“He was just joking,” Finn grumbled.

After arguing for a while, the group finally settled on the theme, “What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up,” which not everyone found amusing, but they were all tired of debating. Rae was officially invited, as well, though she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to go.

***

Chloe insisted that Rae come to the party—she was assured that everyone in the group thought she was great, but that seemed unlikely with the way a certain someone always talked down to her. She figured it was good that she was making friends, though, so she agreed to go.

Rae’s roommate was surprised to see her actually going somewhere on a Saturday night, since she usually spent those in the room on her computer. Her roommate was also getting ready for a party, though she hoped not the same one, since her outfit would suggest she had wanted to be a sex worker when she grew up.

_Hey now,_ Rae thought to herself, _that’s not very nice to sex workers._

Rae was dressed much more conservatively, in her nicest trousers, a printed button-down blouse, and a cardigan.

“What are you supposed to be?” Chloe asked when she picked up Rae for the party.

“A school-teacher,” Rae answered nervously, realizing that maybe that sounded stupid.

Chloe clearly wanted to be a medical professional of some kind, as she was wearing purple scrubs—surprisingly not a “slutty nurse” uniform. ( _Really, Rae? Enough of the slut-shaming, even if it’s just in your head_.)

The party was being held in a flat that took up the entire top floor of a building.

“Whose place is this?” Rae asked as they walked into the expansive entryway.

“Chop’s,” Chloe said quietly. “His dad is some sort of real estate magnate or something, I don’t know.”

“It’s amazing.”

“Yeah, it’s not bad.”

Rae could hear music coming from the other side of the French doors ahead of them. When they got to the next room, she saw that the place was bustling. All these people that Rae didn’t know; it was a little overwhelming.

Archie, who had spotted them when they walked in, headed towards them carrying a couple glasses of champagne, handing one to each of the girls.

“How are you ladies tonight?” he asked loudly to be heard over the music.

“We’re ab fab, sweetie darling,” Chloe replied, kissing the air beside his cheek, and then laughed. She hiccupped. “I may have had a little something to drink on the way here,” she added, scrunching her face like she was guilty before laughing again.

Archie looked over at Rae inquisitively, causing her to say, “Don’t look at me. It was before she picked me up.”

He smiled and gave her a once-over. “What are you supposed to be?”

“School-teacher,” she said, though now she regretted her choice.

“Cowboy,” he said, pointing at his outfit.

“I figured.”

“Come on,”—he took her hand—“Izzy and Chop will want to say hello.”

She followed him over towards the others. Izzy was a fairy and Chop was a police officer.

“It were what I wanted to be before I realized it was more fun to be a criminal,” he said with a grin. “I can’t tell what you’re supposed to be, though.”

“A school-teacher,” she said.

Finn snorted.

She looked over at him, and he appeared to be dressed exactly the same as he always did. “And what are you supposed to be, then?”

“A rich playboy who does SFA,” he replied nonchalantly before taking a sip of his drink.

“What?” said Rae, thinking it was some sort of accounting jargon or something.

“Sweet fuck all,” he said.

She grimaced a little. “Is that really what you wanted to be as a kid?”

“Well, I couldn’t find a Batman costume on such short notice,” he joked.

“You sure you didn’t just want to be a complete tool when you grew up?” she said. “Because that’s what it looks like based on your outfit.”

The others laughed at Rae’s brazen attempt to insult him, which appeared to irritate him even more, but he didn’t respond.

In fact, he didn’t say another word to her until she was ready to leave.

“I don’t feel like leaving yet,” Chloe whined when Rae said she wanted to go.

“I’ll take her,” said Finn, downing the last dregs of his drink.

“It’s alright, you don’t need to—” Rae began.

“It’s fine, I was about to leave anyway.”

He said his goodbyes to the others but didn’t wait for Rae to finish hers before he headed for the door.

“I guess I’m going now,” she said, giving Chloe a quick hug. “See you all later.”

She hurried after him, though he was already at the front door by the time she caught up with him. They rode the lift down silently and she followed him to his car, which had pulled up out front.

“Jeeves” inspected her bag and she got in the back of the vehicle with Finn.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said as they sat awkwardly in the backseat. “Again.”

“Don’t mention it.” He glanced sideways at her. “Seriously, don’t.”

She stared down at her hands folded in her lap and wished for this car ride to end.

Suddenly, Finn started speaking in a language that wasn’t English, and she realized he was talking to “Jeeves” up at the front, who lowered the divider and responded in what was probably the same foreign language.

“What was that?” Rae asked when the divider went back up.

“What was what?” said Finn.

“What was that language?”

“Swedish,” he said, like she should have known.

“Why…?”

“Because I’m Swedish… I thought you would have googled me by now.” (How presumptuous of him.)

“But you sound English,” she stated, but with the inflection of a question.

“I was sent to boarding school over here at a young age,” he said.

“Oh.”

“You really didn’t google me?” he asked after a minute.

“Uh, no,” she said. _Not successfully._

“Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“I believe you when you say you don’t know who I am.”

“Do you also believe me when I say I don’t care?”

“Fair enough.” He smiled reluctantly. “Hey, are you hungry, by any chance?”

She shrugged. “A little, I guess.”

“Do you want to get something to eat?”

“Is there anywhere that serves food this late?” she asked.

“I know a place.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Finn said that he knew a place to eat, Rae didn’t expect that he meant his own flat.

The building even had a doorman, and “Jeeves” escorted them up. Finn said something to him in Swedish, and he left the two of them alone.

This was weird. Especially considering that his flat appeared to be even bigger than Chop’s, or, if not bigger, at least swankier.

“So you’re rich and Swedish and your family is really important…” she said as she walked in. “Did your grandfather invent IKEA?” She snickered to herself, amused.

“Wow, I’ve never heard that one before,” he said sarcastically. “I’m not related to anyone from ABBA, either.”

“Okay, I’ll stop guessing.”

“Good.”

He walked through what could only be described as a Great Room to the kitchen, where he opened one side of a doublewide, restaurant-style refrigerator.

“Do you cook a lot?” Rae asked, hovering in the doorway.

“Yeah, I’m a great chef,” he said as he pulled out a frozen pizza and plonked it on the counter.

“You know you’re supposed to preheat the oven,” she said when she saw him open the packaging and shove the pizza into the double wall-oven before turning it on.

“Meh,” he replied. He looked over to where she was still standing in the doorway and frowned. “Sit down, will ya?”

She came in and sat down on a barstool at the island while he leaned on the other side, across from her. Neither one of them said anything for several minutes; they just stared down at the countertop.

“So, is this why you invited me here?” she asked. “To sit in silence and eat frozen pizza?”

“What, are you too good for frozen pizza now?” he said without looking up. “I’m the one with the multi-million pound flat, and you’re the one who’s too good for frozen pizza, is that right?”

“I never said—”

He finally looked up and she could tell that he was just teasing her.

“You’re kind of a dick, aren’t you?” she said.

“So I’ve been told.”

“…Is this place really worth millions?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know; it’s not mine.”

“What?”

“I mean I just rent it.”

“Jesus Christ, say that first!” She had been worried they’d just broken into someone’s home and were about to be arrested.

“Well, it is a pretty cool place. Check this out.” He pushed a button on his side of the island and a cylindrical “mini-fridge” rose up from the countertop, filled with bottles of beer. He took out two and slid one across the counter to Rae before closing the contraption.

“It malfunctions about half the time,” he added. “But it’s cool when it works, right?”

“It seems kind of… pointless,” she said as he tossed her a bottle opener.

“Of course it’s pointless—that’s what rich people do; fill their homes with pointless crap.”

“Well, good job, then.”

“Everyone has pointless stuff; if I was back at your place right now, I would definitely find something pointless, wouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, my roommate.”

He laughed—quietly—like he was caught off-guard by her response.

“That being said, you’d probably like her,” she added.

“Why’s that?”

“Because she’d actually be impressed by your money and whatever super important status you have.”

“And you’re not?”

“Honestly? No. If anything, it’s off-putting.”

“You find me off-putting, do you?”

“I find your wealth off-putting; I find you insufferable.”

“Why are you even here, then?”

“How was I supposed to know that ‘I know a place,’ meant frozen pizza in your kitchen?” she said, folding her arms. “I thought you were taking me out somewhere.”

“You wanted me to take you out somewhere?”

“Ugh, you know what I meant.”

He bit his lip to keep from smirking, but it didn’t work.

“Oh my god, you’re annoying,” she added.

The oven dinged and Finn went to get the pizza out and onto a circular cutting board. He had to look through three drawers to find the pizza cutter.

“I have a cleaning service and I never know where they put things,” he explained.

“If you cleaned up after yourself, maybe you’d know where things were,” she said.

“I wouldn’t bet on that.”

“Why are guys incapable of taking care of themselves, huh?”

“It’s not because I’m a guy, it’s because I’m… important.”

“You’re important so that makes you incompetent?”

“Hey, I just made you this wonderful _gourmet_ midnight snack, and you have the gall to insult me.” He cut her off a slice of pizza and handed it to her.

“Can I at least have a plate?” she asked.

“You’re very demanding,” he said as he went to the cupboard to get her one. He didn’t bother getting one for himself, though, and just ate straight off the cutting board.

“I don’t think it’s demanding to want to eat like a civilized human being.”

“Is this better?” he asked, holding his beer with his pinky out as he took a drink.

“Yes, that’s what I’m talking about.” She chuckled a little and he smiled, clearly pleased with his joke.

“So…” he said after a minute. “You really wanted to be a school-teacher when you were younger?” He nodded at her outfit.

She adjusted her cardigan self-consciously. “Yes. Still do, actually.”

He raised his eyebrows like he was a bit surprised.

“And you really want to do ‘SFA’?” she asked.

“It doesn’t really matter what I want because I don’t have a choice,” he replied, leaning on his elbows.

“Why don’t you have a choice?”

“I have family obligations.”

“And what does your family do?”

He smiled a little. “Sweet fuck all.”

***

Chloe invited Rae to get coffee with her midweek, and although Rae was hesitant because of a paper she had due the following week, she agreed. They met at a small café not too far from Rae’s residence.

“Oh, babes, I’m really sorry about Saturday,” Chloe said as they found seats.

“For what?” Rae asked, confused.

“For abandoning you.”

“I’m the one who abandoned you, remember?”

“Yeah, but I should have gone with ya. Instead you had to get a ride with Finn, so yeah, I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” she said. “We hung out at his place for a bit.”

“You what?” Chloe’s reaction made Rae regret mentioning anything.

“We just had some frozen pizza and beer,” she explained.

“Did you… you know… with him?”

“Oh my god, no!” Rae rubbed the side of her forehead. “I mean, first of all, have you seen me?”

“He’ll put it in anything, trust me,” said Chloe, before she seemed to realize it sounded bad.

“Wow, thanks.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, just… Taking girls to his swanky flat is like his _move_ or something.”

“We were just hanging out.”

“Still, I’m surprised,” said Chloe.

“By what?”

“By the fact that he took you to his place. I mean, I’ve never even seen it!”

“Oh… Where did you do it, then?” Rae wrinkled her nose, not really sure that she wanted to know the answer.

“Do what?”

“Do it… with him.”

“Jesus, Rae, I haven’t!”

“Sorry, it’s just you said, ‘he’ll put it in anything, _trust me_.’”

“That was an expression!”

“Okay, then.”

Chloe got quiet for a minute before adding, “I mean, I haven’t _yet_.”

“Are you two…?”

“No, no, there’s nothing going on, just… He’s single, I’m single… You never know, right?”

“Right…”

“…He hasn’t mentioned me, has he?”

“I don’t think so. But it’s not like I’ve talked to him all that much.”

“You’ll let me know if he does?”

“Yes, if I ever see him again without you around, which I doubt will happen, I will make a note of what he says about you,” said Rae.

“Great.”

***

Rae didn’t look up from her computer, but felt someone sit on the other side of her table in the library.

“Psst,” the person whispered. “May.”

Rae looked around, not sure whom this person was addressing, until she saw who it was. “What?” she said.

“Have you got a pencil?” asked Finn.

“Maybe.” She picked her bag up off the floor and rummaged through it until she found a pencil. “And my name is _Rae_.”

“Noted,” he said as she handed it to him. He pulled out a book and opened it to the marked page before tapping the pencil against it.

She continued to peer over at him occasionally, but then noticed he was writing something in the book. “I think that’s vandalism!” she hissed.

“Relax, it’s my own copy,” he said quietly.

“You come to the library to read your own books?”

“You come to use your own computer.”

“Because I’m trying to escape the roommate from hell. What’s your excuse?”

“You know, it’s the sense of welcoming I feel here,” he said with a smirk.

She shook her head and returned her attention to her computer. She stealthily googled “Finn Neilson Sweden” but found nothing about the young man sitting across from her, so she continued with her actual research.

Before she knew it, the windows of the library were shut, indicating that the library would be closing in half an hour. Finn tossed her pencil across the table at her, but she didn’t manage to catch it before it rolled off.

“Thanks,” she huffed. “Wait, are you leaving?”

“I’m meeting the others for a drink,” he said, picking up his book and standing.

“Oh. Okay.”

He stopped and exhaled loudly. “Do you want to come?”

“I should really keep working on—”

“ _Do you want to come?_ ” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“Get your shit and let’s go.”

She scrambled to pack up her laptop and notebooks into her bag before following him quickly down the stairs and out the front door. He called out to “Jeeves”—in Swedish—and continued on towards the pub, Rae following close behind.

When they arrived, there was another group of people in their usual table, and Chloe and the gang were nowhere to be found.

“I’ll sort this out,” said Finn, moving Rae to one side as if telling her to stay there like a dog while he headed towards the occupied table.

And she did stay there. She saw him talking to the people at the table, and after a minute, they got up to move to another spot. He sat down before waving her over.

“What did you do?” she asked him.

“I just explained to them how this was usually our spot,” he said. “And I offered to pay for their drinks for the rest of the night.”

“Why not just take a different table?”

“I like this one.”

“So you just see something you like and take it, is that right?”

“Pretty much.”

“It must be nice to have the money to do that,” she said, shaking her head.

“Most of the time.” He smiled insincerely.

“What, like there’s something you can’t just have if you want it?”

“Maybe…”

“What do you mean, ‘maybe’?” said Rae. “Name one thing you want that you can’t get with your money.”

“I’m not going to play this game,” Finn replied.

“Because you know I’m right?”

“Because I’d have to say shit like ‘love,’ and ‘personal fulfillment,’ et cetera.”

“Oh. I didn’t think those would be things you’d want.”

“Jeez, I’m still a human being. I have _feelings_ you know.”

“Sorry, I just—Hey!” She swatted his arm with the back of her hand when he started snickering.

“Are we interrupting something funny?” Chloe asked as she and the rest of the gang sat down at the table.

Finn and Rae stopped what they were doing abruptly and went stone-faced.

“Not at all,” he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Finn offered to give Rae a lift back to her residence after the pub, and somehow Chloe got herself invited along for the ride. She did most of the talking on the way there, with Finn responding occasionally, and Rae saying nothing until the car stopped outside her building.

“Goodnight, guys,” she said to them as she opened the door.

“Wait, I’ll walk you to the door,” said Finn, jumping out after her.

“You don’t have to—”

“I need to stretch my legs. Also,”—he lowered his voice—“she was getting on my nerves a bit.”

“Ah.” Rae stopped when she reached the entrance. “Well, thanks.”

“Look, I, uh, I wanted to say something to you, actually,” he added.

“Okay…”

“I’m sorry I was a bit funny when we first met—I didn’t know you were sound.”

“All right, then…?”

“Can we start over?”

She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I’m afraid we can’t do that.”

“Oh.” He looked dejected.

“’Cause there’s no need, you dolt,” she added with a small smile. “Sure, we had a rocky start, but we’re fine now, yeah?”

“You’re the worst, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.”

***

Rae stayed up late into the night on Saturday, waiting for Chloe to text her about going out with the gang, but she never did. Perhaps they were all staying in…

She waited all week expecting to hear from Chloe, but she got nothing. It wasn’t until Friday night at the library that she even spoke to anyone outside of class, besides her roommate and the barista at Costa.

“How’d your paper go?” Finn asked as he took the seat across from her again.

“What paper?”

“The one Chloe said you were too busy working on to come hang out with us last weekend.”

“She never asked me to hang out!” Rae said in a loud whisper.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So you didn’t have a paper?”

“No, I did… But I could have spent a couple hours with you guys, at least.”

“I’ll let Chloe know for next time, then.” He got out his book and started reading, which let Rae know that the conversation was over, so she turned back to her computer.

She had already finished her paper earlier in the week, and she didn’t want to start working on the next one yet, so she just scrolled Pinterest for over an hour until the library started to close up.

“Do you want a ride to your building?” Finn offered as she packed up her laptop.

“Oh, uh, I guess…” Was she not invited to tonight’s pub visit either? “Actually, you know what, that’s out of your way, so—”

“No, it’s on the way to my flat from here.”

“Are you not… going to the pub?”

“If I were, don’t you think I’d invite you?” He let out a derisive laugh.

“Well, I don’t know! Chloe didn’t invite me last weekend, so…”

“That was probably just an admin error, yeah? It’s not like we were trying to ditch you.”

She followed him out. “Fine.”

“So, do you want a ride back?”

“I guess,” she said woefully. “Though my roommate will probably be there. Ugh.”

“If you like, you could come ‘round mine for a bit to avoid her a little longer,” he suggested as he opened the car door and leaned on it.

“Really?” She handed her bag over to be inspected like it was second nature to her now.

He shrugged. “Sure. You can keep working on whatever you’re doing—”

“I’ve been on Pinterest all evening,” she said before climbing into the car.

“Okay, then maybe we can find something else to do…”

***

“You’re kind of terrible at this,” Finn said.

“It’s been a while, all right?” said Rae defensively as she tried to figure out where to move her knight. “These guys move in an L-shape, right?”

“Yeah,” he replied, clearly trying not to laugh at her ineptitude.

“Why couldn’t we play something I’m good at, like Connect Four?”

“I haven’t got that.”

“I thought you had everything.”

“Apparently not.” He moved one of his bishops. “Check.”

“What? Where?”

“There,” he said, pointing at the direct line towards her king.

“Okay, you win,” she sighed.

“You can move your king, you know…”

“Oh… Right.”

“Really terrible at this.”

She sneered and moved her king out of harm’s way. “I’m guessing this isn’t how you planned on spending your evening.”

“It’s not. Jeeves is much better at chess than you are.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I’m ruining your plans or something—”

“Do I look like I had plans tonight?” he said, gesturing at his outfit. He was wearing a fitted t-shirt and designer jeans, so he could have had some sort of casual date on the docket, but she guessed by his tone that he did not.

“No plans I’d like to be a part of,” she teased.

“But you are, aren’t you?”

“No, ‘cause it’s not like you _planned_ to have me over tonight.”

He moved his bishop again. “Check.”

She blocked him with a pawn. “Heh, it’s not like you orchestrated this whole not-going-to-the-pub thing to get me over here, right?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he said with a smirk.

“What?” she laughed. “I heard that showing girls your swanky flat was your _move_.”

“Where’d you hear that?”

“Chloe.”

“As if she would know.”

“Yeah, she said she’s never been here.”

“That’s because—Look, I like Chloe fine and all, but really she’s Izzy’s friend, and she’s just sort of there because Izzy’s there, you know?” he said. “She’s not really like us… I mean, her family is _comfortable_ , yeah? But they aren’t really on the same level…”

“Are you saying her family isn’t _rich_ enough for you to have her over?” Rae was appalled. “Why am I allowed, then? Is this considered charity for you?”

“You’re not trying to be something that you’re not! You’re not hanging out with us just because of who our parents are!”

“I don’t even know who your parents are,” she mumbled.

“Exactly! And you don’t care! That’s the difference. Every girl in town knows who I am and they’re only interested in that.”

“I doubt that’s _all_ they’re interested in…” She immediately regretted saying that as it sounded like she had said he was attractive. (Which, to be fair, he was.) (But she didn’t have to tell him that.)

“They have the prospect of great fortune clouding their vision.”

“Sure…”

“But, with you, it’s like I can just be myself,” he added, moving his rook. “Check.”

“So ‘yourself’ is an obnoxious prick, then?” she said as she took out his rook with her queen.

“You sure you want to go there?”

“What, I was only teasing—”

“I meant your queen. ‘Cause if you go there…” He took out her queen with his own. “Checkmate.”

She looked at him and he was smiling smugly. “Obnoxious prick.”

***

“Okay, I’m tired of losing to you at chess,” Rae said after another hour of playing, and not winning once.

“Would you rather lose to me at backgammon?” Finn asked.

“Oh, I would kick your ass at backgammon,” she said jokingly. “But I should probably get back soon.”

“You could stay here tonight.”

“What?”

“I have three guest suites that I never use, so…”

“I couldn’t do that…”

“I’ve got toothbrushes and shampoo and all that stuff.”

“No, I mean I can’t put you out like that.”

“It would literally have zero effect on me,” he said as he packed up the chessboard. “I would be fast asleep on the other side of the flat, so it makes no difference. I just thought it would spare you from having to deal with your roommate for one night.”

She liked that idea. _Then I could be the one doing the “walk of shame” in the morning for once,_ she thought.

“If it’s really no trouble,” she said.

“It means I can let my driver stand down for the night—you know he never gets to see his kids?”

“Seriously?”

“No, not seriously. I’m not a monster,” he added. “He has no kids.”

Rae sighed in exasperation.

“Come on, then. I’ll show you to your chambers,” he said.

He escorted her to a room that was much bigger than the room she shared back in residence, with an enormous bed on the far wall and an ensuite complete with separate shower and tub. It was fancier than any hotel she’d ever seen—not that she’d seen very many.

“Holler if you need anything,” he said as he stood in the doorway. “Well, don’t actually holler, because I won’t hear you. Text me, or something.”

She nodded and he left before she realized she didn’t have his number. She just hoped she wouldn’t need anything. Really, what could she possibly need from him in the middle of the night?

***

Rae managed to find everything she needed to get herself ready the next morning, including everything to wash, comb, and blow-dry her hair. (She didn’t do that every day, but it seemed a shame not to use such lovely facilities.)

There was one thing she hadn’t anticipated, however: that awkward feeling of being in someone else’s home and not knowing if she was allowed to leave the room or not. She didn’t want to just go traipsing around his flat if he was still asleep, but she also didn’t want to be weird, hiding in the guest suite all day.

After an hour of checking her phone for no reason and debating with herself about what she should do, she opened the door and peered into the corridor. She couldn’t see or hear anyone around, so she crept through until she finally heard a noise—someone was in the kitchen. Worried that it might be someone from his cleaning service or something, she tiptoed her way over and looked around the corner, trying to be inconspicuous.

“There you are,” said Finn, sitting at the island and not even looking in her direction. “You sure like to sleep in, don’t you?”

Sheepishly, she took a few steps into the room. “I’ve been up for two hours, actually,” she said.

“Were you hiding?”

“No!”

He gave her a look like he didn’t believe her, but didn’t press the issue. “Do you need breakfast?”

“Nah, I should probably get back to my residence,” she said. “I’m paying for a meal plan there; wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

“I’ll call my driver, then—”

“It’s fine, I can take the bus from here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I’ll walk you to the stop,” he said as he stood up.

“No, that’s okay!” she replied quickly. For some reason the thought of him watching her get on the bus like some sort of _poor_ person made her feel icky inside.

“I’ll see you at the pub tonight?” he said, walking towards her.

“Um, sure.”

“See you then,” he added before wrapping her in a hug, surprising her.

_Oh, bollocks_ , she thought to herself. _I think I’m about to commit a sex crime_.


	5. Chapter 5

Rae didn’t go to the pub with the gang that night. She told Chloe she wasn’t feeling well, but really she felt embarrassed and didn’t want to see Finn, maybe forever. Embarrassed about what had happened that morning.

Really, it shouldn’t have been that embarrassing. She’d just made a weird squealing noise when he hugged her. If she had been a normal human, she could have just laughed about it. But instead she said, “Sorry, bye,” and ran away. Now she could never show her face again.

She declined Chloe’s request to hang out midweek, worried that he might be there, and she didn’t even go to the library on Friday. She just stayed in her room and watched videos on YouTube while her roommate annoyingly got ready to go out. (Everything her roommate did annoyed her, for some reason.)

Her roommate had just left when Rae received a text from a number that wasn’t in her contacts.

_“Are you still sick or are you just sitting somewhere else?”_ the message read.

A moment later there was a second message from the same number: _“This is Finn btw. Got your number from Chloe. Where are you?”_

Another wave of embarrassment came crashing over her once again and she hid her phone under her pillow. She had that panicky feeling she used to get as a kid, where she would hide under the kitchen table whenever the doorbell rang. While she had grown out of that habit, the fear still existed within her.

It wasn’t that difficult to avoid Finn, really. All Rae had to do was make up excuses when Chloe asked her to come out with them and stay away from that particular library—there were plenty of others she could use, after all.

Of course, that was assuming that he wasn’t going to show up outside her building Monday before her class, leaning against his car next to “Jeeves.”

She froze as soon as she saw him, but it was too late; she’d been spotted. He came jogging towards her and spread his arms as if to say, “What the fuck?”

“Hiya,” she said, pretending everything was cool when he caught up to her.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked.

“Around,” she said. “Were you… waiting here for me?”

“Yeah,” he replied, like he wasn’t even a little ashamed. “We all thought something had happened to you.”

“I’m fine; I told that to Chloe, too.”

“Well, we missed you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean… I missed you, anyway.”

She took a tiny step back, almost imperceptibly; she was worried she was about to be pranked.

“I was just wondering if I had done something,” he continued. “Something to make you mad at me, perhaps?”

Her worry turned into concern. “No, of course not.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t!”

“Chloe thought you were upset with her, but since you weren’t at the library on Friday either, I figured I must be the one you’re avoiding, and I just want to know why.”

“That’s pretty arrogant to assume my absence has something to do with you,” she said, avoiding eye contact.

“Arrogant or not, it’s true, isn’t it?”

“I have to get to my lecture now, so—”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

“It’s okay, I can walk from here.”

“I’ll walk with you, then.”

“You don’t need to do that.” She started to walk past him.

“But when am I going to see you again?” he asked as he followed her.

“When do you want to see me?”

“All the time.”

She stopped and gave him a confused look. “What?”

“I want to see you all the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I have more fun with you around. I like talking to ya—and I don’t like talking to anybody,” he said with a smile. “I always want to know what you’re doing, what you’re thinking. …I like you, Rae.”

She still couldn’t understand what he was telling her.

“So when your lecture is over,” he added, “would you maybe like to get something to eat with me? I’ll even take you out somewhere, how does that sound?”

“Um…” She wasn’t sure what to say. Did he just ask her out? On a date?

“When does your lecture finish? Twelve?”

“One,” she answered.

“One? Okay, wow, that’s a long lecture. Anyway, how about I come pick you up here at half past, yeah?”

“I… I really have to go.”

“Is that a no?”

He looked so disappointed that she had to shake her head and say, “I’ll see you then.”

***

Rae barely paid attention in her lecture—she was too distracted thinking about her _date_ that afternoon. She had a _date._ With _Finn_. She could hardly believe it. She could have been getting ahead of herself, though—maybe he meant he liked her as a friend—but it might very well have been a _date_.

When she got back to her room just after one, she considered getting changed into something more date-like, but since he’d already seen what she was wearing today, she thought that might be weird. She wasn’t sure where he was planning on taking her, but she knew he could probably afford something pretty fancy; something for which she was not dressed appropriately. If this wasn’t a date, she wanted to be casual enough that it wouldn’t seem like she was expecting anything, and if it was a date, she wanted to be comfortable enough to not be worrying the whole time. Neither of these options involved getting dressed up to go some place nice. But she had a plan.

Finn called her at half past one to let her know that he was outside her building—even though she was watching from the window and saw when he arrived.

“Ready to go?” he asked when she met up with him by the car.

“Actually, I had an idea,” she said. “What if we just ate here, in the dining hall?”

“Here?”

“Yeah, I mean, I have a meal card that I paid for and don’t use often enough, so I could use it to buy us lunch.”

“You know I said I would take you out, right?”

“Well, think of it as me taking you out, instead.”

He looked like he wanted to argue with her, but knew that he would lose, so instead he took a few steps back and said something to “Jeeves” before returning. “All right, then,” he said to her.

“Have you ever eaten in one of these dining halls before?” she asked as they headed inside.

“Can’t say that I have…”

“You’ll love it.”

They picked out their food and Rae paid for it with her meal card before they sat down at a long table with a bunch of people on the far end.

“This isn’t as bad as I was expecting,” Finn said after taking a bite of his sandwich. “It’s a bit weird, but not bad.”

“This place has decent food,” said Rae. “I’m just never around for lunch, so I don’t use my meal card enough.”

“I’ve never had my date pay for my meal before, though.”

“Neither have I,” she said—but she’d only ever been on one date before.

“Okay, I get that you’re a feminist or whatever, but I feel weird that you’re basically using your scholarship money to buy me lunch.”

“What if I let you pay next time?”

“Oh, you’d grant me that, would you?”

“If you ask nicely,” she teased.

“All right, then, Rae,” he began. “Will you let me take you _out_ to dinner tomorrow night, please and thank you?”

She winced. “I have a lecture tomorrow night…”

“You really go to all your lectures, don’t you? Well, how about Wednesday night?”

“That could be arranged,” she said after a moment of thought. “Now, shut up and eat your weird sandwich.”

***

Now this was definitely a date. Finn was taking Rae _out_. To _dinner_. At a _fancy restaurant._ Well, fancy for Rae—she had no idea if this was just run-of-the-mill for him. But it had low lighting and everything on the menu was about three times more than she would ever pay for food. It made her a little uncomfortable.

The atmosphere was a bit snooty but not stuffy; it was young rich person arrogance as opposed to old rich person arrogance. The artwork was trendy, and the food came beautifully arranged but was difficult to actually eat. This wasn’t Rae’s kind of place at all, and she wondered if she had made a huge mistake in thinking it would be possible for her to date someone like Finn. They were clearly very different people.

“This isn’t your kind of place at all, is it?” he asked her as she poked the beautifully arranged food on her plate with her fork.

“What makes you say that?” she replied, having successfully stabbed what appeared to be a prawn. She grimaced.

“You seem apprehensive.”

“I’m fine.”

“This isn’t exactly my kind of place, either,” he said.

She worried that he was talking too loudly and someone who worked there might hear him. “Then why did you bring me here?” she whispered.

“It usually impresses people that I can get a table at a place like this on such short notice.”

“And by ‘people’ you mean ‘girls,’ right?”

“Well…”

“Is two days really such short notice for a reservation, anyway?”

“The waiting list here is two weeks, you know.”

“So how did you get a table?”

He raised his eyebrows like it was a secret. “Impressive, right?”

“Meh.”

He laughed a little. “If we leave now, we can probably get to the pub before they stop serving food.”

“Really? We can do that?”

“We can do anything we want.”


	6. Chapter 6

Once again, Rae found herself at the library on Friday night. While this was not unusual for her, she was still a little disappointed. She had thought that her date(s) with Finn meant that they were _dating_ , in which case, shouldn’t he have made plans with her by now?

Perhaps she had misread the entire situation and they weren’t actually dating, or maybe he decided he didn’t like her after spending more time with her. Which seemed strange, because she thought that they’d had a good time Wednesday night.

After the snooty restaurant, they went to the pub where they ate normal food and talked for hours. It was possibly the best conversation she’d ever had with another person; she felt like they really got to know one another on a personal level. And now, radio silence.

She looked up from her computer when she felt someone sit across from her at the table, thinking it might have been him, but it wasn’t. Disheartened, she returned her attention to her laptop and didn’t look up again until someone leaned on the table next to her.

“Looks, like somebody took my spot,” Finn said quietly, gesturing to the girl sitting across from her. “Can I take this one?”

“Uh, sure,” said Rae, surprised as he took a seat in the chair beside her.

Without another word, he pulled out a book and a pencil and started reading/writing.

She was wary of the fact that he could probably see everything she was doing on her computer, so she had to actually work on her project for school instead of faff about on Facebook. But she couldn’t concentrate; she kept re-reading the same paragraph over and over. All she could think about was how he just showed up here acting like everything was normal; like everything was how it used to be.

She wanted to give him a piece of her mind, but they were in a library and she had to be respectful of the people studying quietly around her. Instead she ignored him, since he seemed to be ignoring her as well. At least, he was until the ten-minutes-to-closing bell rang.

“Pub?” he said to her.

She shrugged as she packed up her laptop, but followed him out anyway.

“How’s that assignment—” he began once they were outside.

She cut him off by blurting, “Why didn’t you text me since Wednesday?” She hadn’t intended on confronting him like that, it just sort of happened.

He stopped and looked confused. “You said you had a big assignment to work on, so I thought I would give you some time,” he said, like it should have been obvious.

“But you never even made plans to see me again,” she said.

“I figured I would see you tonight,” he explained. “Besides, _you_ could have texted _me_.”

“But I—” Rae wasn’t sure what to say. Why hadn’t she considered texting him? “I… I was busy working on this assignment…”

“See? I figured you wouldn’t have any free time.”

“Okay, but still…” She tried to come up with some sort of argument to justify why she was so upset, which was difficult since he was being so reasonable and considerate.

“I wanted to talk to you, believe me,” he continued. “I just thought I would be in your way.”

Her expression softened. “Why would you be in the way?”

“You take your classes a lot more seriously than I take mine.”

“That’s because I worked really hard to get here.” It came out more biting than she had intended.

“I know. I think that’s a good thing.” He looked down and shuffled his foot against the ground. “You’re not spoiled, like I am.”

“You’re not spoiled,” she said.

He glanced at her skeptically.

“Okay, but, like, you’re down-to-earth enough to recognize it, right?”

“Is that a negative compliment or a positive insult?”

“Can we just get to the pub? I’m freezing out here.”

***

Rae was a bit worried about seeing the others for the first time since she started “seeing” Finn. She wasn’t sure if they all knew about it yet, or if he wanted them to know, and she wasn’t sure what they’d think of it. She was particularly concerned about Chloe, who had shown a bit of an interest in Finn before, though Rae didn’t think it seemed all that serious.

Nonetheless, she was cautious not to walk too closely next to him on the way in, and made sure her chair was far enough away from his that they wouldn’t accidentally bump arms while they were seated.

Chloe and Archie were already there when they arrived, and neither of them said anything, so Rae figured they didn’t know. That was something of a relief to her, but at the same time she wondered why Finn hadn’t told them. Was he embarrassed?

“Hey there, lovebirds,” Chop said as he walked in with Izzy.

“You’re one to talk,” Finn said to Chop.

Chop exchanged glances with Izzy as they sat down next to each other.

“It’s not fair; everyone is coupled up except me,” said Chloe.

“And me,” Archie pointed out.

“Right,” she replied. “Maybe you and I should pair up then.” She nudged him with her elbow.

“That sounds swell.”

“Hey, _we_ are not a couple,” Chop said defensively, gesturing towards himself and Izzy.

“Yeah, right,” said Archie.

They continued to argue about who was and was not currently in a relationship, but Rae realized that it was just taken as given that she and Finn were dating, and nobody seemed to care. It wasn’t until Chloe invited her and Izzy to go to the washroom that Rae was even asked about it.

“So, you and Finn, eh?” Chloe said to her once she had told a couple of other girls to leave the room.

Rae shrugged.

“Are you two serious?”

“We’ve only been on two dates,” she said.

“I didn’t even know you were interested.”

“I dunno, it just sort of happened, I guess. You’re not… angry, are you?”

Chloe frowned. “No, I’m not angry, just surprised, is all.”

“Well, I think it’s sweet,” said Izzy. “You make a cute couple.”

“I agree, obviously, but I just want to make sure that you understand what he’s like.”

“What do you mean?” Rae asked.

“How do I put this? He’s… He’s not a long-term relationship guy,” Chloe said slowly.

“Who says I want a long-term relationship?”

“Oh, come on. Every girl wants a long-term relationship with a guy like him; he’s _literally_ Prince Charming.”

“Well, I’m not like every girl, all right?” Rae folded her arms defensively. “Besides, he’s not _that_ charming.”

“All right,” said Chloe. “Just as long as you understand that he’s not The One. You’re not going to meet his parents. You’re not going to have his babies.”

“Ugh, gross.”

“I mean it, Rae. Don’t get too attached.”

“I won’t. Jesus.”

“All right, then. Now, hold on, I really have to pee.”

***

Rae was nervous for the entire ride back to her residence. Something about the way that Chloe had warned her to not get too attached to Finn made her worry that she already was. Which was ridiculous. They’d only been on two dates and hadn’t even kissed yet, for crying out loud.

But despite what she said about not looking for a long-term relationship, he actually was kind of charming, once she got to know him. He was funny and considerate and intelligent and, oh yeah, extremely gorgeous. She could see herself introducing him to her mum and stepdad, even though Chloe had said he would never introduce her to his parents.

“Is something wrong?” he asked as they neared her street. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“No, nothing,” she said absently.

“Is this about me not calling you? Because I am sorry about that; it was a misunderstanding, but I won’t let it happen again.”

“No, really, it’s nothing.”

“Then can we make plans for tomorrow night?”

“Sure,” she said, then quickly added, “but please, no snooty restaurants.”

“What if I cook instead?”

“What, like frozen pizza?”

“Hey, I can make other frozen things, too,” he said with a smile.

“Okay, then. You’re on.”

“Pick you up at seven? I’ll send my car to get you—”

“I can take the bus.”

“But—”

“Really, I don’t mind. In fact, I’d prefer it.”

“If you insist,” he replied as the car pulled up in front of her residence.

“See you at seven.”

***

It was twelve minutes past seven by the time Rae arrived at Finn’s building. She’d texted him from the bus to let him know she was running late, and he was waiting for her at the door to let her in when she arrived.

“You didn’t have to wait out here for me,” she said.

“I did, actually. It’s pretty tight security here; they might not have let you in.” He sounded like he was joking, but she wasn’t sure.

She followed him up to his flat, which smelled amazing when she walked in.

“What is that?” she asked in awe. “Did you make curry?”

“I did,” he replied. “I hope that’s okay.”

“I love curry.” She walked through to the kitchen where she saw a Le Creuset French oven on the hob. “You didn’t make it from scratch, did you?”

“I was joking about making you frozen dinner, you know.”

“But how did you—Where did you learn to cook?”

“Google.”

“You just googled how to make curry tonight?”

“Nah, I’ve made this recipe loads. But I taught myself to cook by looking it up online,” he explained.

“I thought you’d have people who cook for you.”

“I suppose I could if I wanted to, but I like cooking sometimes.”

“And other times?”

“Other times I get takeaway.”

“So is it any good?” she said.

“Is what any good?”

“Your cooking.”

“You’ll just have to see for yourself, won’t you?” He stirred the contents of the French oven for a minute before getting two plates from the cupboard.

“Oh no, you cheated!” Rae teased when she saw him scoop rice out of a rice cooker onto the plates.

“Give me a break, everyone uses a rice cooker.”

“My mum doesn’t.”

“Then maybe I’ll get her one for Christmas, how about that?”

“You don’t have to do that,” she said quietly. Even though it was clearly a joke, he’d just made reference to getting a Christmas gift for her mother—that seemed kind of long-term-relationshippy.

He just smiled and continued to serve up their dinner. They had to eat in the kitchen since the “formal dining room” had a pool table in it instead of a dining table.

The meal was delicious, and Finn had even made a Bakewell tart to have with a cup of tea afterwards. (He sure had his British cuisine down for someone who wasn’t even born there.)

After dinner, they played some more chess—Rae was getting better at it—before she decided she ought to be getting back to her room.

“You don’t want to stay in the guest suite tonight?” he offered.

“No, I need to get working on this project early tomorrow morning,” she said, though really she just thought it would be weird to stay now that they were _together_ , for some reason.

Although she assured him she could take the bus, he insisted on giving her a ride back. They made plans to see each other Monday, and he kissed her goodbye when they reached her building.

_Shit_ , Rae thought to herself as she made her way to her room. She was getting too attached.


	7. Chapter 7

It was becoming difficult for Rae to keep in mind what Chloe had said about Finn not being a long-term relationship kind of guy. They’d been dating for several weeks, and he was already talking about making plans to visit her and her family during the holidays.

“Maybe we could even take a little trip over the break,” he said as she snuggled up next to him. “Have you ever been to France?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never been anywhere.”

“I think you’d like it.”

“Yeah, it sounds nice.” She hesitated for a moment then looked up at him and added, “You know, I’ve always wanted to go to Sweden.”

He eyed her suspiciously. “Really?”

“It seems cool.”

He scoffed. “You mean ‘cold.’”

“Fine, forget it,” she said when she got the feeling that he really didn’t want to take her there.

“We can go if you want, I just don’t know what you expect to see there.”

“I don’t know, the buildings, the food, the people…”

“Ah.”

“Ah, what?”

“My family’s not going to be there,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“They migrate south for the winter.”

“Well, I just meant people in general.”

“Look, I grew up over here. I would occasionally visit in the summer, but that’s it. Even then I never really left our property, so I’d have nothing to show you,” he explained. “It wouldn’t be fun.”

“All right, I’m sorry I mentioned it.”

“So… France, then?”

“Yeah. France.”

***

Rae’s mum appeared happy to see her when she stepped out of the car in front of her house. She was greeted by a big hug from her mum—even though they weren’t really huggers, most of the time—and her stepdad.

“How was France?” her mum asked eagerly.

“France was—” Rae stopped talking when she realized her mum was no longer paying attention but was instead distracted by something behind her. Rae turned to see Finn getting out of the car.

He headed towards them with a slight jog in his step. “Sorry,” he said when he reached Rae, “I just had to discuss something with Jeeves.” He turned his attention towards her parents and added, “Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Bouchtat. I’m Finn.”

Rae’s mum laughed as he shook her hand. “Oh, Finn, you can call us Karim and Linda.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He smiled charmingly at her and Rae could tell her mum was won over instantly. He was very different than when Rae had first met him, but she supposed he wanted to make a good impression this time.

“Oh, my,” her mum said when she noticed the burly man carrying Rae’s luggage towards the house. “Hello,” she said to him, holding out her hand. “I’m Linda.”

The man didn’t say anything.

“This is Jeeves,” Finn said before he told him to set the bags down by the front step.

“Oh. Really?” she asked.

“Of course not,” said Rae. “He’s not about to tell you the actual names of his security detail, is he?”

Her mum looked confused for a second, but smiled anyway. “Of course…”

Rae had briefed her mum on what to expect with Finn. Basically that he was rich and important and therefore had a fancy car with a driver and a bodyguard/valet of some sort. So it shouldn’t have come as too much of a surprise to her, but it was still an adjustment.

“Come in for some tea, all of you,” her mum said. She went to pick up one of Rae’s bags, but Finn stopped her and insisted on carrying it in himself, instructing “Jeeves” to grab the other.

They followed Rae’s mum into the house where she put on the kettle. Rae helped her mum make the tea and brought the mugs out to the dining room where the fellas were all sitting and chatting. (Well, Finn and Karim were chatting; “Jeeves” was just sitting there, stone-faced.)

Her mum asked her and Finn about their trip to France, and they told her about the places they visited and the food they ate—the usual post-trip breakdown. Meanwhile Rae’s little sister kept running around their feet and trying to make “Jeeves” laugh, which he didn’t.

Finn and his group left after a little while so he could go check into his hotel. Rae’s mum offered to let him stay on the couch, but she didn’t have room for his entourage.

“Okay,” Rae said once he was gone. “What do you think of him? Honestly.”

“I think he’s very nice, really,” her mum replied.

“But…?”

“But don’t you think it’s a little strange? I mean, the lavishness of his lifestyle…”

“It’s not all that different from ours,” said Rae. “He cooks for himself.”

“Really?”

“When he doesn’t get takeaway, yeah… But he could have a private chef and he doesn’t, so…”

“All right, so what do you think of him? Honestly,” her mum asked.

“He’s… great.”

“But…?”

“But I’ve been told he’s not a long-term relationship kind of guy, so…”

Her mum gasped. “Is he seeing other people? I knew it, I just knew that—”

“What? No!”

“Are you sure?”

Rae realized that she’d just assumed she and Finn were exclusive even though they’d never talked about it. Perhaps it was time for a chat.

***

Finn returned to Rae’s family’s house the next day for Christmas Eve—he was going to fly out to meet up with his family later that day, but he’d wanted to spend the morning with her.

He showed up at the door unescorted—“Jeeves” was waiting in the car—with two gift-wrapped boxes in his arms.

“What’s this?” Rae said when she let him in.

“Just a little something for your mum and sister,” he said. “They can open them tomorrow, if they want.”

Rae led him to the small tree in the living room and he set the gifts beneath it. “You didn’t have to do this, you know,” she said.

“I know I didn’t.” He smiled and gave her a hug before her mum came in from the kitchen.

“Finn,” she said. “It’s good to see you again. Would you like a cup of tea?”

“I can get it,” he said, taking a step towards the kitchen, but she stopped him.

“You know, the kitchen is a mess right now, and I was going to put the kettle on anyway, it’s no trouble.”

“All right, thank you.”

Rae pulled him aside once her mum had left the room so she could talk to him privately. “I need to ask you something that’s going to sound a bit weird,” she said.

“Sure…?” he replied.

“It’s just… I was wondering… Please tell me the truth,” she began.

“I will,” he said, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Are you seeing other people?”

“Seriously?” he said with a frown. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“It’s just, Chloe said something about—”

“Chloe told you I was seeing other people?”

“Not exactly…”

“What did she say, exactly?” he asked, clearly irritated.

“Just that… you’re not a long-term relationship guy,” she said.

“And so you took that to mean I was cheating on you?”

“Not cheating, just not exclusive…”

“Wait, are you seeing other people?”

“No!”

“Then why are you bringing this up all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know…” she said meekly.

“I just can’t believe you don’t trust me,” he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.“I mean, after all this time—”

“That’s the thing, it has been a long time!” she said. “And it’s starting to feel like a long-term relationship, but I know you don’t do those, so I thought…”

“Did it ever occur to you that Chloe doesn’t know shit about me?”

“Not really…”

“You know what, my flight is coming up soon and I’m not even packed yet, so I should probably just—”

“No, don’t go, please! I’m sorry I said anything!”

“It’s not the fact that you said it, it’s the fact that you thought it,” he said. “I just can’t… I can’t be here right now.” He pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her before he turned to leave. “Happy Christmas.”

***

Rae played with the bracelet on her wrist for a while as she lay in bed on Christmas morning. She could hardly believe what she had done — Finn had been nothing but kind and thoughtful since they’d started going out, and she’d had the gall to doubt his intentions just because of something Chloe had said. Chloe, who was not known for her honesty back at school either.

Rae wondered if she ought to call him, but figured he was probably busy with family stuff, like she should have been at that moment. She knew her parents and sister were just waiting for her to come downstairs so they could open presents.

She got her robe on over her pyjamas before heading down. She put on the kettle and came to sit in the living room to watch her sister open presents first. Almost all the gifts for her sister were dinosaur toys, as she was a bit obsessed, including the one from Finn, which Rae thought was really sweet.

But she was most surprised by Finn’s gift for her mum: a rice cooker. Not because it was a great gift for her mum—she didn’t really care much for rice—but because he’d remembered it from two months ago.

Rae wished it wasn’t Christmas so she could call Finn and apologize without getting in the way of his family time, but she knew how rarely he saw his family and figured she ought to let him be for now.

So she was really surprised when he showed up at her house that evening.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when she answered the door to find him.

“Sorry, am I interrupting your dinner or something?” he said.

“No, we ate a while ago,” she said. “Everyone else is having a post-Christmas-dinner nap right now.”

“Good, because I wanted to talk to you.” He stepped inside and through to the living room so he could sit down, taking off his jacket on the way.

“I wanted to talk to you, actually,” she said as she followed him. “Can I just say I’m sorry for ever thinking… well, any of that stuff about you?”

“No, I’m sorry for storming off like that,” he said. “But I’ve thought about it and I realize that you’ve only known me a few months; you’ve known Chloe much longer, so it’s no wonder you trust her, right?”

“I know her well enough to know that I shouldn’t trust her.”

“Besides,” he continued, “I can understand where she got that impression about me. In the brief time that I’ve known her, I’ve dated… several girls… and I wasn’t really serious about any of them, so I guess she assumed I’m never serious about anything.”

“Oh…”

“But I can be serious,” he added quickly. “I’m serious about my friends being important to me, and that includes you.”

Rae nodded in agreement. “I’m serious about you,” she said as she hugged him.

Finn kissed the side of her head and face until she turned so that her lips met his. “I think I love you, Rae,” he said, resting his forehead against hers.

“I think I love you, too,” she replied.

“…But I have to tell you something…”

She drew her head back to look at him curiously, concerned about what he might want to tell her. Was he just going to tell her he loved her and then dump her? He wouldn’t do that, right?

“I figure you ought to know who I really am,” he said. He took a deep breath before he continued. “Rae… I’m a prince.”


	8. Chapter 8

“A prince?” Rae said, wanting to make sure she’d heard Finn right.

“Of Sweden,” he added with a nod.

“I… I didn’t even know there was a prince of Sweden.”

“That was kind of obvious, yeah.”

“H—How? How did you… become a prince?”

“I was just born, I guess,” he said. “My older sister’s next in line after my dad, though, and then her children, so I will most likely—barring some sort of freak accident—never actually be King, if that makes you feel better.”

“Um, you’d think it would, but it doesn’t.” She was starting to get a panicky feeling in her gut. This was one outcome she had never considered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spring it on you like this.”

“So when were you going to tell me?” she snapped.

“Next week.”

“Next week?”

“I was going to take you out for New Year’s Eve, tell you I love you at midnight, and take you back to my place to explain everything to you.”

“Wow, how long had you been planning that?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Jesus Christ!” She stood up and started pacing around the room. Finding out he was a prince was sort of like finding out he was an alien. But he had always said his family was sort of important, and royal family of a nation sounded sort of important. (Probably more of a symbolic importance, she suspected, but still…)

“What does this mean?” she asked as she kept pacing.

“What does what mean?”

“You being a prince, and me being… just me!”

“It doesn’t mean anything. I’m still just me!” he said, standing up to hold onto her. “I’m still the guy you think you love, right?”

“I guess…”

***

Returning to Oxford after the holidays was strange. While it had been nice to see her family for a little while, Rae had gotten used to living away from home and found that they got on her nerves a lot quicker than they had before. She’d stayed at Finn’s flat for a few days between Christmas and the start of classes just to escape the mundane drama of home.

But she returned to her room with the obnoxious roommate when her classes began again because she liked being closer to the buildings her lectures were held in. She also worried that if she stayed with Finn, his terrible study and attendance habits would rub off on her.

Other than that, things were fine with him, relatively speaking. She’d accepted the whole _prince_ thing and tried just to see him the way that she had before—as a spoiled rich boy with a big heart. It was hard for her not to wonder about things, though.

She wondered about his childhood. She wondered about his future. She wondered about his family.

She wondered how she fit into his life.

“I tried to warn you, babes,” Chloe said as she, Rae, and Izzy enjoyed a girls’ night out. Rae had told them about Finn’s confession, which they, of course, already knew. “At the end of the day, he’s going to have obligations that just don’t include you.”

“Now, come on, you don’t know that for sure,” said Izzy. “It’s all right for royalty to marry commoners these days, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but maybe not… quite so common…”

“Excuse me?” said Rae.

“I’m not trying to offend you, or anything, but, really, you don’t have any social status to speak of,” Chloe said. “And I’ve heard that his parents have hated any of his girlfriends he’s dared to introduce them to, and they were all of higher status than you.”

“Great, thank you,” Rae replied. “So I’ll just never meet his parents and I’ll eventually have to break up with the only boy I’ve ever loved and I’ll be miserable and alone forever. Perfect.”

“Or you could be his secret mistress,” Izzy said, as if that were a good thing.

“Why would I want that?”

“Because he’d buy you a house and take you on exotic holidays and get you presents to compensate for his guilt.”

Rae grimaced.

“Well, I don’t know,” Izzy continued. “I just thought maybe you wouldn’t have to break up with him, is all.”

“No one is saying you have to break up with him,” Chloe added. “Not any time soon, anyway. It’s not like either of you are looking to get married yet, right? So you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.”

“But I know it’s out there,” said Rae, “looming over our futures. Casting its shadow over what should have been a lovely day in the sun.”

“…What?” said Izzy, apparently confused by Rae’s metaphor.

“Never mind.”

***

“What are you thinking about?” Finn asked Rae, lying next to her.

“Oh, nothing,” she answered absently.

He brushed her hair off her forehead. “You’ve got thinking face.”

“No, it’s just…” She sighed. “It’s just that you’ve met my family, right?”

“Right…”

“So am I ever going to meet yours?”

Finn sat up and leaned against the tufted headboard. “I hadn’t really thought about it,” he said. “Is that… something you’d want?”

“I dunno,” she said. “It just seems weird that I haven’t, you know?”

“Well, these are kind of special circumstances, don’t you think?” he said. “I mean, they don’t even live in the same country as me.”

“I know…” she said as she sat up and leaned against him.

“I’m just not sure when would be a good time.” He put his arm around her. “You’ve got your classes, and they travel a lot, and—”

“It’s okay,” she cut in. “If you don’t want me to meet them, I won’t.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to, Rae; please understand that.”

“Okay.”

“I just, I don’t feel the need to introduce you when your paths would probably never cross anyway, right?”

“Never?” she asked. “What about holidays? Celebrations? Family visits? Am I never going to be invited, even though my mother has extended you a personal invitation to visit her absolutely any time ever?”

“Are you just trying to make me look like a dick, or what?”

“No…”

“Like I said, it’s not that I don’t want you to meet them, except… All right, maybe I don’t,” he said. “But it’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with them being stuck up their own asses.”

Rae pulled away from him. “Fine, I get it.”

“I don’t think you do get it,” he added. “I’m not that close with my family.” He sighed before continuing. “I was a troublesome child, and instead of dealing with me, they sent me to boarding school in another country. They don’t approve of any of my choices in life, and they think I have an ‘attitude problem.’ Basically they think I’m ungrateful because I don’t want to live the life they’ve got planned for me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“I just don’t want them thinking of you as another one of my bad choices, because I don’t think you’re a bad choice.”

“I think I’d like, ‘Not a bad choice,’ on my tombstone,” she said.

He chuckled softly. “Do you get where I’m coming from, at least?”

“Yes…” she said. “But do you get where I’m coming from? When you say you don’t want to introduce me, it feels like you’re saying that you’re ashamed of me.”

“Why would I be ashamed of you?” he said.

“Because I’m poor. And I have literally no social status.”

“You think I care about that?”

“Well, Chloe said—”

“Are you really taking advice from her after she nearly broke us up?”

“I guess not…”

“Look, I love you, okay? Everyone else can fuck off.”

She laughed a little. “How romantic.”

“I mean it, Rae. I don’t care about any of that other shit; I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“And that’s why you won’t introduce me to your family? Because you don’t care what they think?”

“Exactly.”

“But if you don’t care what they think then why does it matter if I do meet them?” she asked. “I mean, even if they hate me, it’s not going to change the way you feel, is it?”

“No, but do you really want to meet them after what I’ve told you about them?”

“I don’t know, but I’d like to think that I’m important enough to you that I would meet them some day.”

“All right, fine,” he said. “I’ll bring you with me next time I visit them, but I’m not sure when that will be.”

“Isn’t your birthday next month?” she said.

“Yeah, so?”

“Won’t you see them then?”

“Hah! I doubt it.”

“But it’s your _birthday_.”

“And I’m sure they’ll send a card with their best wishes,” he said.

***

When Rae got to Izzy’s place for their girls’ night the next week, she was confused to see that Chop and Archie were there, along with Chloe. The whole gang, minus Finn. She worried that maybe she was supposed to have brought him, until she found out why they were all gathered.

“We need to figure out what we’re going to do for Finn’s birthday in a few weeks,” said Archie to the rest of the group.

“Surprise parties are always fun,” Izzy suggested. “Or we could get a bouncy castle!”

“I like the surprise party idea,” said Chloe. “We could do it the Saturday right before his birthday.”

“Yeah, we can do it at my place,” said Chop. “We’ll tell him we’re just hanging out, the six of us, but when he gets there there’ll be a ton of people.”

“Do you really think he’ll like that?” Rae said, scrunching up her face.

“No,” said Archie. “That’s what makes it funny.”

“You won’t spoil it, will you, Rae?” Izzy asked.

“Of course not,” said Rae. “If you want to do a surprise party, then I’m in.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Can’t we just stay in tonight?” Finn whined, pulling on Rae’s sleeve to keep her from getting up off the sofa.

“The gang’s expecting us in ten minutes,” Rae replied as she sat back down next to him.

“But I’m turning twenty tomorrow,” he said. “I’m too old to go out at night.”

“We’re not going _out_ , we’re just going to Chop’s place for a little while,” she said. “I promise we’ll have you in bed by ten, Granddad.”

“Now you’re just humouring me.”

She gave him a kiss before she stood up again. “Come on, let’s go.”

It didn’t take them that long to get to Chop’s flat, as it wasn’t too far from Finn’s, but Finn complained the whole way there.

“Why can’t I just hang out with you tonight?” he said. “I don’t want to see the others.”

“Sure you do. You love those guys.”

“Yes, but not as much as I love you.”

“That’s sweet, but we’re still going.”

The doorman recognized them and let them into the building where they took the lift up to the top floor.

“I hope you weren’t joking about being in bed by ten,” Finn said just as they reached Chop’s flat.

“If you insist,” said Rae, texting Chloe to let her know they’d arrived.

When they got inside, the place was dark.

“What the fu—” said Finn just before the lights came on and dozens of people wearing animal onesies jumped out and shouted, “Surprise!”

“Surprise,” Rae said with far less enthusiasm.

“Did you do this?” he asked her.

“They did it,” she said defensively. “I was just the bait meant to bring you here.”

He forced a smile as he looked at everyone else and said, “You got me.”

Chop came up to the pair of them and handed them each an animal onesie; Finn’s was a dinosaur or lizard—something green with a tail—and Rae’s was a rabbit. (Rae had not chosen the theme of the party.)

“If I have to wear this,” said Finn, “then I’m getting drunk tonight.”

***

Despite his apparent displeasure when he arrived, Rae thought that Finn seemed to be having a good time at his surprise birthday party. He’d had a lot to drink, though, which may have helped.

It was late by the time they left; technically it was Sunday.

“Happy birthday,” she said to him when fumbled over each other as they got to his car, still wearing their onesies.

“No…” he groaned. “I don’t want it to be my birthday.”

“Why not? I love my birthday.”

“Because I’m twenty, now. Next thing you know, I’m going to be thirty, and then forty, and then dead.”

“I think you’ll live to be at least forty-five,” she teased.

“Thank you for that vote of confidence.”

They got to his flat and immediately headed for bed, falling asleep in their animal onesies as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

***

Rae woke up to the sound of someone angrily speaking another language—what she now recognized as Swedish, though she couldn’t understand it.

“What the fuck?” Finn said groggily as he slowly sat up in bed. He then responded to the angry speaker in Swedish as well.

Rae turned over and saw a man and woman standing in the doorway of the room. “What’s going on?” she asked Finn, who was checking his phone.

He said something else to them in an irritated tone before replying to Rae. “Well, Rae,” he said, “you get your wish.”

“And what wish is that?” she said as she sat up, holding the blankets close to herself.

“You wanted to meet my parents.”

***

After arguing a bit more in Swedish—or at least it sounded like arguing—Finn’s parents left the room to let Rae and Finn get up and change into clothes other than animal onesies. When they finally joined them in the main living space, there was a team of “Jeeves”-type people with them.

“Rae,” Finn said to her, “I’d like to introduce you to my mother and father; Mor, Far, this is Rae.”

“Hi,” Rae said nervously. “Nice to meet you.” Nobody said anything else, so she added to Finn, “Do they not speak English?”

“Of course we speak English,” his mother said. “Finn, what sort of idiot girl have you got yourself this time?”

“Hey!” said Rae.

“She’s not an idiot!” Finn said to his mother.

“That would be a first,” said his father.

“What are you two even doing here?”

“We came to see you for your birthday, Finn,” said his mother.

“If you’d checked your messages you would have known that,” his father added.

“I was out late last night for my birthday,” said Finn.

“Idag är det din födelsedag,” his mother said.

“I know today is my birthday; it was a surprise party!”

“Dina vänner kan överraska dig, men vi kan inte?”

“Their surprise was a fun surprise,” he said. “And for fuck’s sake, speak English.”

“Finn!” she said. “Who taught you to use words like that?”

He rolled his eyes. “I learned it at boarding school.”

“Carl, do you hear the way our son speaks to us?”

“Detta är inget nytt,” said Finn’s father.

“Of course it’s nothing new,” Finn replied. “It’s why you sent me to boarding school in the first place. Because I was an insolent brat. None of this explains why you are here now, though.”

“Din födelse—”

“My birthday, yeah, I got that,” he said. “That’s still not a good enough reason to break into my flat.”

“We’re hardly breaking in,” his father said. “I pay the rent, after all.”

“You never visit me on my birthday, though.”

“Vi har saknat dig vid jul,” his mother added.

“I saw you at Christmas,” said Finn.

“For five minutes!” she replied. “Then you rushed back to see this little tramp.”

“Hey!” he said.

“Sorry,” said his mother, “but why were you hiding her from us?”

“I wasn’t hiding her from you; I was hiding you from her!” said Finn. “You’re horrible.”

“Don’t speak to your mother that way,” said his father.

“I was talking to both of you.”

“Don’t speak to either of us that way!”

“Should I go?” Rae said quietly to Finn. “I should probably go…”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to meet my family,” he said, raising his voice. “Well, here they are!”

“Var inte otrevlig mot din flickvän,” said his mother.

“I’m not being rude to my girlfriend; _you’re_ being rude to my girlfriend!” he snapped. “And you’re in England—speak fucking English!”

Rae was concerned. She’d never seen Finn get angry like this. She’d seen him be brooding and sarcastic, of course, but she never thought he was the kind of person to yell and swear at his own parents. Would he eventually talk to her that way?

“Finn, I think we need to speak in private,” his father said.

“I’ll just leave, then,” said Rae.

Finn grabbed her arm. “You can stay. You were invited. They weren’t.”

“It’s fine,” she said, pulling her arm free. “I have studying to do anyway.”

“Let me give you a ride—”

“I can take the bus. It’s fine.”

“Hon tar bussen?” his mother said.

“Yes, she takes the bus!” said Finn. “She’s a normal person! She’s not fucking weird like us.”

Rae wished she could just disappear. Luckily, she managed to sneak out while they were arguing, and it was almost like she disappeared.

***

“I’m really, really sorry,” Finn said when he showed up at Rae’s room unannounced.

“What are you doing here?” Rae asked, eyeing “Jeeves” who was standing next to Finn.

“I texted you to say I was coming over,” he said.

She frowned and looked at her phone. Dead. “I forgot to charge it when I got back,” she said.

“Look, can I come in and talk to you for a minute?”

“Okay…” She stepped aside to let him in.

He told “Jeeves” to stay out in the corridor.

“How did things go with your parents?” Rae asked Finn once he was inside.

“Not great,” he said. “Basically they think I’m wasting my life.”

“By doing what?”

“Sweet fuck all,” he said with a sarcastic smile.

“You’re going to school, though,” she said.

“Apparently I don’t take it seriously enough, and they’re tired of paying for me to do nothing.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means they want me to move back home.”

“Back home?” she asked. “I thought you never really lived there.”

“Not since I was a small child, no,” he said.

“Does this… have something to do with me?”

“Why would it have something to do with you?”

“Are they just trying to keep us apart? They clearly don’t like me.”

“I think they made this decision before they knew you existed.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Well, they said that I can stay if I get my grades up by the end of term,” he said.

“That shouldn’t be too difficult,” she said. “You’re smart.”

“But it means I have to… go to class and stuff.”

“Are you saying you’d rather move back home?” Rae couldn’t believe that he seemed to think staying with her was not worth the minimal effort of actually going to his classes.

“Raaaaae!” someone called from outside the door. “Rae, let me in!”

“Is that Stacey?” Rae said as she went to the door.

“Who?” asked Finn.

“My roommate,” she said. She opened the door to find her roommate standing next to “Jeeves” and looking annoyed.

“Why is there a guy guarding the door?” Stacey asked. “He wouldn’t let me in.”

“It’s okay, she lives here,” Rae said to “Jeeves” so he would let Stacey pass.

“What is going on?” said Stacey as she came into the room.

“Stacey, this is Finn,” said Rae. “Finn, this is my roommate, Stacey.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Finn, shaking Stacey’s hand.

Stacey looked confused, glancing towards the door again, before she seemed to put two and two together. “Oh my god,” she said. “You’re not _that_ Finn, are you?”

“I don’t… know,” he said.

“You’re like, a prince, right?”

“Um…”

“I’d heard that you go here, but I never expected to find you in my room,” she said excitedly. “Why are you in my room, anyway? Did I win a contest or something?”

“I’m, uh, Rae’s boyfriend,” he said, pointing at Rae.

“Oh, so you’re not _that_ Finn, then.”

“Okay…”

Stacey looked confused again, which Rae found amusing.

“Look, do you want to get out of here?” Finn said quietly to Rae. “It is still my birthday, after all.”

“I suppose I would be kind of a dick to say no, wouldn’t I?” Rae said, smiling.

“You would, yeah,” he replied as they headed for the door.

“So, wait,” Stacey said before they could leave. “Are you a prince or not?”

“Bye, Stacey,” said Rae.


	10. Chapter 10

“Rae? Isn’t that your boyfriend?”

Rae looked up from the book she was reading in bed when her roommate spoke to her. Stacey was looking out the window of their room intently.

“I hope not,” Rae replied without getting up to look. She knew he was supposed to be in a lecture at that moment.

“I think it is!” said Stacey. “I recognize his beefy bodyguard stepping out of the car. Jesus, I can’t believe you’re dating an actual prince.”

“He’s just a regular guy,” said Rae, setting down her book. She slipped off the side of the bed and walked over to the window to see. “A regular guy who’s skipping his class right now,” she added, frustrated.

This was the third time Finn had missed a class in the past week, even though he’d said he was going to try and do better at school so he wouldn’t have to move away.

“I should go talk to him,” she said as she turned around to grab her bag and leave the room.

She hurried down the steps to the front door to meet Finn before he got into the building.

He looked surprised to see her there, but smiled. “Morning,” he said. “You busy?”

“No,” she replied with her hands on her hips. “But you should be.”

He frowned in confusion. “Is that some sort of sexual innuendo?”

“No, I mean you should be in class right now!”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

“It’s not an important one,” he said. “I did the reading and I understood everything perfectly, basically, so I don’t really need to go to the lecture just to go over the material again.”

“That’s how you learn things, though.”

“My mind is like a vault.” He tapped the side of his head. “Information gets locked in there.”

“Isn’t it good to go over things again, though?” she said. “You have an exam next week.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Well, are you done the essay for Philosophy yet?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, _Mother_ , not yet.”

“Excuse me?” Rae looked at him in disbelief that he would be giving her such attitude when she was just trying to help him.

“I was just teasing you, relax.”

“So you did finish?”

“It’s pretty much done,” said Finn. “I mean, I know what I’m going to write, more or less.”

“That… is not the same as being finished,” she said.

“Look, I just came to see if you wanted to get some lunch with me today, all right?”

Rae sighed and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “Fine. I wish you’d take your studies seriously, though.”

“I do take them seriously. I just take my time with you even more seriously.”

“Yeah, well, if you keep it up, you won’t have any more time with me because you’ll be back in Sweden.”

“I’m not going to let that happen,” he added casually. “I’ve got this under control.”

***

“So, can I read what you’ve got so far?” Rae asked Finn after they finished eating lunch in the dining hall.

“Read what?” he replied, scraping off his tray into the bin.

“Read your essay.”

“Oh. You don’t want to read that. It’s boring.”

“It’s okay, I like Philosophy. I don’t mind, and this way I can proofread for you.”

“You think I don’t know how to spell?” He scoffed like he was pretending to be offended.

“Of course I think you know how to spell, it’s just easy to miss things when you’ve been working on it for such a long time.”

“Well, see, I’ve got a trick for that,” he said as they walked out towards the courtyard, holding hands.

“What is it?”

“I don’t work on it for such a long time.”

“What?”

“I like to plan it out in my head and then write it all the night before so I don’t second-guess myself,” he explained. “Plus, the time pressure helps me work faster.”

Rae let go of his hand and stopped in her tracks. “Are you joking right now?”

“No…”

“So you’re telling me you haven’t even started this essay yet?” she asked incredulously.

“I’ve done all the research and everything. I just need to slap it together.”

“And what makes you think that slapping it together is good enough?”

“This is how I always do it.”

“But I thought you were trying to do better this term!” she said.

“I am!” he replied, clearly growing frustrated. “Three months ago I wouldn’t have even had my research done this far out. I’m way ahead of the game.”

“When you said you had this under control, I thought—”

“You thought I’d turned into you overnight?” He laughed a little.

“Look, I can procrastinate, too,” she added, relaxing her shoulders a little. “But I know how to get things done whenI have to.”

Finn took a step closer to her, reached for her hand again, and smiled. “So do I.”

***

Rae felt weird going to the pub alone to meet the gang—it had been months since she’d gone by herself and not with Finn, but he’d texted her to let her know that he didn’t feel like doing anything tonight. She had offered to come over and hang out with him in his flat, but he said he wasn’t up for it. She figured he must have been coming down with a bug of some kind, so it was probably best for her to keep her distance anyway, with her finals coming up and all.

“Raemundo’s here,” Chop announced upon her arrival. “Time for another round!”

“And guess who’s turn it is again?” Archie said to him.

“It seems like it’s always my turn,” said Chop.

“That’s because it’s always your idea.”

“Hiya, Rae,” Izzy added as Chop got up to get the next round, and then looked confused. “Wait, where’s Finn?”

“Haven’t you heard?” said Archie. “He’s not doing so well.”

Rae was surprised that Archie seemed to know what was up with Finn more than she did.

“Is he ill or something?” asked Izzy.

“No, he’d just gotten a big essay graded and it was not good,” he said. “Told me he wanted to be left alone for a while.”

“Oh.” She turned to look at Rae. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“…Me too,” said Rae.

***

Rae excused herself early from the pub, claiming to have a headache, but instead of going back to her room she went straight towards Finn’s flat. The doorman recognized her easily at this point, and let her into the building. She took the lift up to the penthouse and knocked on the door.

It was several minutes before anyone answered. She was surprised to see that it was Finn who opened the door, as she’d been expecting someone like “Jeeves” instead.

“What do you want?” Finn asked glumly.

“I wanted to see if you were okay,” said Rae, standing awkwardly in the corridor, like she was waiting for an invitation to come in even though he’d left plenty of room for her to walk through the door.

“I’m fine.”

“Archie told me what happened.”

He hung his head and stepped aside, so she entered cautiously and he shut the door behind her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she continued.

“Because I knew you’d be disappointed in me,” he said without looking at her.

“I’m disappointed, yeah, but not with you,” she said.

“What’s the difference?”

“You tried your best, didn’t you?”

He sighed and slumped towards the kitchen. “Isn’t that worse?”

She followed him. “Worse?” she asked.

He pushed a button on the island and the mini-fridge rose slowly from the countertop. “I tried my best and it still wasn’t good enough,” he said, grabbing a couple of beers before attempting to close the contraption, unsuccessfully at first. After a bit of light swearing, he managed to make the thing retreat again. “It’s pointless.”

“What are you saying?” said Rae, taking the bottle he’d handed to her and setting it on the counter without opening it.

“I’m saying it’s pointless for me to keep trying,” he said. He took a swig from his own bottle before setting it down as well. “I’m not cut out for this sort of thing.”

“That’s not true,” she argued. “You got into a very prestigious school, and—”

“You can do a lot of things when you’re rich and powerful.” He looked at her and she could tell that he wasn’t being sarcastic, which surprised her a little.

“Still, you’re a smart guy,” she said. “I’m sure you can get your grades up by the end of term.”

“Final exams are coming up soon,” he said.

“Exactly, it’s another chance to prove yourself.”

He shook his head. “It’s too late. I’d have to ace everything to get my grades high enough for my parents’ approval, and that’s not going to happen.”

“It could! I’ll help you revise—”

“Rae.” He looked at her seriously again. “It’s too late.”

She watched as he slowly looked away and took another swig of his drink. “No,” she said defiantly. “I don’t accept that.”

“It’s not up to you, though, is it?” he said.

Rae wasn’t sure she understood what he was saying to her, but she could feel a lump forming in her throat.

“Look, I’ve decided to spare myself the hassle of taking my exams and quit while I still have a shred of pride left—”

“Pride?” Anger bubbled up inside her as she spoke. “This is about your ego? You don’t want to fail so you’d rather quit? As if that’s so much better?”

“Well, it is, isn’t it? I’d rather know when to admit defeat than make a fool of myself.”

“If you think quitting doesn’t make you look like a fool, then you’re even more of a fool,” she said.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Finn shook his head. “You don’t have the same expectations placed on you.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I have certain obligations,” he added, growing irritated. “And one of those obligations regards my reputation and the reputation of my family. Now, I’ve discussed it with my parents, and we agreed that if I quit school and focus on doing charity work instead—”

“I thought you hated your parents!” said Rae. “Why are you suddenly in cahoots with them?”

“I don’t _hate_ my parents, and maybe they have a point,” he said. “I need to think about my future.”

“Your future, huh?” She folded her arms as she fought back tears. “And what does that look like?”


	11. Chapter 11

It was beginning to feel more and more like Finn’s future did not include Rae.

He moved back with his family before the end of the term, but promised to video chat with her every day. Which he did, for the first week. Then it became every other day. Then every few days.

This time it had been a week since their last call. They sent messages to each other, of course, but Rae needed to see his face and hear his voice to really feel like they were still together.

She was a bit surprised when he called her this time, though, since he hadn’t sent her a heads up text like he usually did.

“Hey,” she answered, sounding a little disoriented.

“Hey, sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?” he asked.

“No, just, I can’t talk very long because I have to go to work soon,” she said as she sat down on her bed. She was no longer living in the residence hall but had moved to a flat off-campus with two other people she barely knew, now that the spring term was over.

He gave her a confused look. “Work?”

“I texted you about it last week,” she said, exasperated. “I got a serving job at a restaurant, remember?”

“Uh, sure, yeah, I remember,” he said, though he was clearly lying. “How’s that going?”

“Fine, I guess, but I’ve only done one shift.”

“I’m sure you’ll be great.” He didn’t sound very convincing.

“Thanks.” Neither did she.

“So, anyway, the reason I called,” he began, and Rae was immediately disappointed because it sounded like he did not call just to chat with her. “I know you’re taking a course this summer and you have a week off at the end of June, right?”

“Yeah…” Her hopes were slightly lifted, since she had previously mentioned something about going to visit him during that time.

“Well, I just thought I should let you know that I’m busy that week, so you should plan to visit your family instead,” he said finally.

“Oh… Okay…” She tried not to let her disappointment show. “When can I see you, then?” she added as casually as she could.

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “Things are getting kind of crazy here, and honestly, I don’t know if—”

“If you want to see me anymore?”

“Rae, come on. You know I want to see you. I just don’t know how to manage it when my parents are controlling everything I do.”

“So they don’t want you to see me?” she asked.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” He looked away for a moment before returning to face her. “I think you deserve more than this, Rae.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just don’t… have time for you anymore.”

Rae felt like she was choking on her own breath. “You… what?”

“No, I mean—I don’t mean it like that! I mean I don’t have time for anything that I want,” he explained. “And you deserve more than a fraction of my time, don’t you?”

“And you’re not willing to try harder to give that to me?” she said.

He didn’t say anything.

“So, basically, you’re quitting us just like you quit school, because it got too difficult for you to half-ass it anymore,” she added bitterly.

“Rae…”

“Whatever. If you don’t have time for me, then I don’t have time for you. I have to get to work.” She hung up on him and stared at the phone in her hand for a moment before tossing it onto the bed next to her.

It buzzed with a new text, but when she saw who it was from, she deleted it without reading it.

***

“You know I hate to say that I told you so, but…” said Chloe before taking a sip from her glass of wine.

“Admit it, you love to say it,” Rae replied, taking a large gulp from her own glass. She grimaced a little. Wine wasn’t really her drink.

“No, really, Rae, I hoped it would work out for the two of you, I did,” Chloe added.

“I still can’t believe that you guys broke up,” said Izzy. “You were so perfect together.”

“Obviously we weren’t,” said Rae.

“It’s not you, Rae,” said Chloe. “I hope you realize this. It’s all about his issues, and it’s got nothing to do with you, all right?”

“It’s got a little to do with me, seeing as I’m the one he broke up with.”

“Yeah, but he would have broken up with anyone.”

“I didn’t want to be just anyone, Chlo!” Rae set her glass down on the side table next to her so hard that a couple drops of wine came flying out the top and onto the surface of the table, but no one seemed to notice. “He… He… made me believe that I was special,” she added, though she realized how stupid it sounded as she was saying it.

“You _are_ special,” Izzy said sympathetically.

“You’re too good for him, babes,” said Chloe.

“We all know that’s not true,” Rae moped.

“I mean it, he’s a prick,” Chloe continued. “You have to see this as an opportunity for something better to come along, yeah? And what do you do when opportunity knocks?” she asked.

Rae shook her head like she didn’t know.

“You answer.”

***

Rae looked up from her book when there was a knock at her bedroom door.

“What is it?” she hollered, expecting one of her flatmates to respond. She stood up quickly when then door opened and she saw who walked in.

“Can we talk?”

“Finn? What are you doing here?” she asked as she considered pinching herself to see if she was dreaming.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he replied, shutting the door behind him and stepping closer to her.

Her shock slowly waned and indignation took over. “You can’t just dump me over video chat and then show up in my room three weeks later without so much as a text!”

“You never responded to any of my texts,” he said. “I figured I was more likely to get an answer from you in person.”

“Why do you need an answer from me?”

“Look, I know we’ve pretty much broken up, and I’m not asking you to take me back or anything,” he began, like he was trying to sound reassuring, but only served to make her more irritated. “I just need your help.”

“Help with what?” she asked hesitantly.

“Uh, well, I sort of… need a place to live,” he said. It was only then that Rae noticed he was dragging a small rolling suitcase behind him.

She stared at him in disbelief for a moment. “What on Earth are you talking about?”

“I quit. Again,” he replied. “I quit my family obligations this time, which also means that I quit living off my parents.”

“I… don’t get it.”

“Basically, until I turn twenty-five, I have no money, and without money, I have nowhere to live, so essentially… I’m homeless.”

“But… But how did you even get here? I… I can’t…”

“I flew to London, then took the train here,” he said. “I didn’t even tell anyone I was going, though they’ve probably realized it by now and will come after me soon. That or cut me off.”

“Why would you do that?” she said.

“I was sick of living the life that other people chose for me. Boarding school, Oxford; all of that was chosen for me, but it’s not what I wanted.”

“What do you want, then?” Rae’s voice sounded tiny as she tried to process everything.

“I don’t… know exactly, yet,” Finn replied. “But I felt like I wasn’t going to figure that out over there.”

“I still don’t fully understand what you want me to do right now, though.”

“I was just hoping you could help me find somewhere I could live for, well, no money, at least until I can find a way to earn some,” he said. “Jesus, I don’t even know how to look for a job,” he added as he ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stick up at odd angles.

“Well, I don’t know of any place you can live for no money—” she began, then noticed him looking around her room like he was sizing it up. “No, no, no—you can’t stay here!”

“Come on, you’ve got a large bed, and all my stuff’s in here,” he said, lifting his bag. “And this can easily fit anywhere. There’s plenty of space for me.”

“Absolutely not.” She started pushing him backwards angrily. “You cannot stay here, no way.”

“Please, Rae,” he said once she’d backed him against the door. “I have nowhere else to go.”

***

“I don’t know why you couldn’t have gone to live with Chop,” Rae said as she built a wall of cushions on the bed between her and Finn. “Or Archie. Wouldn’t one of them been able to help you out? And give you your own room to stay in?”

“I would have, but everyone I know travels during the summer,” Finn explained, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. “You’re the only one who’s staying in town.”

“So I was your last choice, then?” She wasn’t sure if she should feel offended or grateful.

“Well, that, and I figured that you’d be better able to help me look for a job, seeing as you actually have one and all.”

“I wouldn’t count on that,” she said. As she rolled away from him, however, a thought occurred to her. “They’re currently looking for assistants at the restaurant, though,” she added.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You know, people to set tables, clear tables, wash dishes, that sort of thing.”

“And you think I should do that?”

“Well, considering that you are desperate for money and have zero job experience, I’d say you shouldn’t turn your nose up at it.”

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll try.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Well, well, well, don’t you clean up nice?” said Rae when Finn walked out of the bathroom in black trousers and a black shirt, which he’d borrowed from one of Rae’s flatmates.

“I look like I’m going to a funeral,” he replied, tugging on the cuff of his sleeve to get it to lie flat.

“You look good.”

He smirked a little and looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“Oh, you know what I mean,” she said. “You look professional.”

“Professional enough to clear tables?”

“Absolutely.”

“You look good, too,” he added, giving her a nod.

She was similarly dressed, only her sleeves were rolled up half way to her elbow, as was allowed for the women where they worked. “Except you can still sort of see the stain where I spilled horseradish sauce on myself,” she said, pointing to a spot right above where her shirt was tucked into her trousers. “It was awful; it looked like I’d been fooling around with someone in the back room.”

“That’s disgusting,” he said like he was trying not to laugh as she did. “So, um, have you been?” he added, lowering his head a little.

“Have I been what?”

“Fooling around with anyone since, you know…”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” she said. “You broke up with me, so you don’t get to ask that.”

He looked off to the side, like he was ashamed and couldn’t make eye contact with her. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Come on,” she said after a minute. “We’ve gotta get to work.”

***

When Rae and Finn got back from their shifts at the restaurant, they took turns getting showers and went straight to bed, as they were both exhausted.

“Do you think your flatmates mind me being here?” Finn asked, leaning over the wall of cushions between them so he could speak softly. “The guy seems to like me fine, but the girl gave me the stink eye at breakfast.”

“I don’t know,” said Rae without turning to face him. “They both have their significant others here most of the time, so they shouldn’t care.”

“I’m not your significant other, though, technically,” he said.

“I’m sure they think you are. It doesn’t matter, does it?” She yawned and rolled towards him, not expecting to find him so close to her side of the bed.

“Hi,” he said, tucking one of the cushions under his chin as he looked at her.

“Hi,” she replied quietly.

“Rae?” he said as her eyelids started to flutter shut.

“Hm?”

“Do you… Do you still love me?” he asked.

She opened her eyes fully and frowned at him. “That doesn’t matter,” she said. “You made your choice.”

“I thought I was doing what was best for you…”

“I don’t feel like arguing about this right now,” she said, turning away from him again. “I’m too tired.”

She could feel him move closer to her and place his hand on her shoulder.

“I still love you, Rae,” he said. “Do you love me?”

She twisted her head around to look at him in disbelief. She wanted to scream at him, to give him a piece of her mind, but he looked too sincere and she couldn’t do it. “Of course I do, Finn,” she said. “But that doesn’t change what happened. You gave up on us.”

“I came back for us!” he said. “I gave up everything else to come back, for _us_!”

“You said it was because you didn’t want to live a life that had been chosen for you.”

“Because that was a life that didn’t include you.”

“So, what, you expected me to take you back, just like that?” she said as she turned her head away again.

“I… don’t know what I was expecting, honestly,” he said softly.

“Look,” she added with a sigh, “I’m tired and I want to sleep. We can talk about this later.”

“All right,” he said, stroking her arm with his knuckle. “‘Night, Rae.”

***

“Have you just been sitting in here all day?” Rae asked when she got back from her summer course to find Finn sitting in her room on his laptop, like he had been when she left him earlier.

“What else am I going to do?” he said without looking up at her.

She dropped her book bag and snapped his laptop shut in front of him to get his attention. “I don’t know; go out? Get groceries, perhaps?”

“I, um, don’t know how to get to the grocery store,” he replied shyly.

“Take the bus.”

“I don’t know which bus to take.”

“And you can’t look it up?”

He frowned. “Is there somewhere to look that up?”

“The bus companies have websites, you idiot.”

“Well, I don’t even know where the grocery store—” He stopped when he realized Rae was glaring at him. “I suppose the grocery stores have websites, too…”

“Finn, have you never gone grocery shopping before?”

“Don’t act like I’m some kind of weirdo just because I’ve never gotten my own groceries, alright?” he said. “None of my friends have, either. Except you.”

“I don’t think it makes you a weirdo,” she said. “I think it makes you an entitled prick.” She smiled to indicate she was joking. Sort of.

“Alright, well, we need groceries, so let’s go,” she added, tugging on his arm to get him to stand, which he did reluctantly.

Rae grabbed a few reusable shopping bags from the kitchen and Finn followed her to the bus stand a couple of blocks outside their building, where they waited for several minutes before the bus they wanted showed up.

“This is so strange,” he said, looking around as they got on the bus.

“It’s really not,” she replied.

The bus stopped right in front of the Sainsbury’s, so they disembarked and headed inside.

“Whoa,” said Finn, stopping in the doorway. “This is bigger than I was expecting.”

He turned to look at Rae and they both added, “That’s what she said!” at the same time.

“God, we’re twelve years old,” said Rae as she started walking away.

“How do you even know where to find everything in here?” asked Finn with a jog in his step so he could catch up to her.

“There are signs above all the sections, see?” She pointed at the signs hanging from the ceiling. “Besides, you get to know your regular store after a while and you just remember where things are.”

Rae led Finn around the store, picking up the items they needed. Finn kept trying to grab the name brands he recognized, but Rae insisted they go for the cheaper store brands.

“We’re on a budget, remember?” she said. “You haven’t even gotten your first paycheque yet.”

“Right, sorry.”

By the time they got back to the flat with the groceries—Rae had let Finn push the button on the bus to request their stop—Rae was wiped out. Shopping with Finn was like shopping with a child. He did, however, start helping her put the groceries away without even being asked, for which she was grateful.

Once they’d finished, she went to her room to lie down, but was surprised when he followed her.

“I just need to rest a few minutes,” she said, pushing the blankets aside because it was too hot.

“Okay,” said Finn right before he sat down next to her feet. “I’m really sorry,” he added.

“Sorry for what?” she asked, muffled with her face smushed against the pillow.

“For being so incompetent,” he said. “I don’t know how to take the bus by myself, or get groceries, or do anything, really.”

She rolled onto her back so she could look at him. “You’re not incompetent, you’ve just never had to learn these things until now. But you are learning them.”

“I should have already learned them, though,” he said, letting his head hang forward. “It’s just that none of this ever seemed important before.”

“Well, it’s good that you’ve decided it’s important now, right?” she said. “Look at it that way.”

“I s’pose…”

She nudged him with her foot. “Cheer up, yeah? You’re doing okay.”

“This is just… a lot harder than I thought it would be,” he said.

“What is?”

“Everything. Working. Running errands,” he said. “And being with you but not being _with_ you. That might be the worst part of it all.”

She turned away from him again. “I can’t talk about this right now.”

“When, then?” he asked. “You said before that we could talk about this later, and it’s later.”

“You keep bringing it up when I’m trying to sleep, though!” she said angrily. She breathed out slowly to keep herself from getting worked up. “The fact is, I don’t know if I trust you yet.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust that you won’t give up on us again and go back to your life of luxury.”

“I swear, I wouldn’t—”

“Please, don’t swear it. It’ll just make it that much worse when you do inevitably go back.”

“Hey,” he said, grabbing her arm to turn her towards him. “I’m not _inevitably going back_ , all right? I made the decision to return for you and I’m sticking with it, no matter what.”

“Even though you have no money or status anymore?”

“Yes.”

“Even though you have to work and take the bus and buy your own groceries—”

“It’s worth it, Rae, if I get to be with you,” he said. “But this, this wall-of-cushions thing between us, that’s not what I want. I want us to be us again.”

She twisted herself around and sat up on the edge of the bed next to him. “I want us to be us again, too. But I don’t know if we can.”

“Will you at least give me a chance to prove myself?” he asked.

“And how do you intend to do that?” she said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Give me a month,” he said. “If I can keep my job and do my laundry and groceries and normal people stuff for a month without giving up, then will you consider taking me back?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Fine, if you can stick with everything for a month, then I’ll _consider_ it.”

“Thank you,” he replied, squeezing her hand with his. “I won’t let you down.”

“You’d better not.”


	13. Chapter 13

“What do you think you’re doing?” Rae asked Finn when he started tossing cushions onto the floor as she climbed into the bed.

“It’s officially been a month, and I’m still here,” he explained. “So I’m making room for our reconciliation.”

“Is that what you think is happening here?” she said skeptically.

“I held up my end of the deal,” he said. “I’ve gone grocery shopping by myself, I’ve done my own laundry successfully, after a few blundered attempts, and I’ve kept my job—I even got promoted to food prep. Now it’s time for you to hold up yours.”

“All I said was that I would _consider_ taking you back, it was no guarantee.”

“I know, but come on. You know it’s going to be yes.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because,” he said, scooting closer to her, “you still love me.”

“Okay, but—” As she stared at his face, she couldn’t think of any way to refute him. “But…”

The past month, she’d actually been quite impressed with him. But she didn’t necessarily want to congratulate him too much for doing the things that he should have been doing anyway, or else he was going to expect praise for every little task he performed for the rest of his life.

Besides, playing Average Joe for a month wasn’t the same as completely abandoning his old life for good. He was going to get tired of it eventually, she was certain.

“You can’t stay here like this forever,” she said.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” he replied.

Rae was a little surprised that he wasn’t even pretending like he wanted to stay. “Then why should I get invested if you know you’re going back?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “Chop’s back in town next week and he said I could stay at his place. But I’m staying here in town.”

“Oh.”

“And you should come with me.”

“I should come with you?” she said incredulously.

Finn cozied up next to her and put his arm around her side. “Come on, we can stay in his guest suite, which is bigger than this flat, and use his much nicer kitchen, and the amenities are so much better—”

“So basically you want us to live together?”

“That’s what we’ve been doing for the past month,” he said.

“You’re crashing here, not living here,” she said. “There’s a difference.”

“Fine, then we can _crash_ at Chop’s place together.”

“Finn…”

“I’m serious! I think this could be good for us,” he said.

“I didn’t even agree to us being _us_ again, yet,” she replied.

He nestled his head up against her shoulder and squeezed her around her middle. “You know you want to, though.”

She looked at him and he lifted his face to meet hers. “Not… necessarily,” she said, examining him slowly. She’d forgotten what it was like to be this close to him. How he made her feel like she was the only other person in the world. How everything else sort of slipped away, lost significance in that moment. Her doubts, her fears—none of them could compete with the look he was giving her.

And then she did something that seemed to surprise both of them; she kissed him.

“Is that a yes?” he asked smugly.

“Just shut up,” she said as she pulled him in for another.

***

Chop offered to let Finn and Rae use his car and driver to move their stuff into his flat, though they didn’t have much. Finn just had his one little suitcase, and Rae just had a bit more than that.

“Is that it?” Chop asked them when the driver brought their bags in.

“We’re nomads,” said Finn. “We take only what we need to survive.”

“You need twelve different hair products to survive?” Rae said to him.

“It’s only four,” he corrected her.

“In any case,” said Chop, leading them to their suite, “I invited some people to come ‘round for a little move-in party. Nothing major, just a little something to celebrate this new chapter of your lives.”

“And what chapter is that?” asked Finn.

“The chapter where we’re roomies, roomie.”

“Well, that sounds fun and all, but I have to work tonight,” he said.

Chop laughed. “Oh, you’re serious? Right, of course. Can you… blow it off for tonight?”

Rae gave him a dirty look. “No, he can’t _blow it off_ for tonight! He has a responsibility to be there.”

“Besides,” Finn added, “I kind of like it.”

“You do?” said Chop.

“I get to cook for five hours and they pay me money,” said Finn. “It’s pretty cool.”

“I guess I should let everyone know the party’s off—”

“You can still have the party, if you want,” he said. “And, hey, maybe it will still be going when I get back, right?”

“I should hope so!” Chop replied. “A party’s not a party unless it goes well into morning, you know that.”

Rae was starting to second-guess her decision to move in here. She hadn’t really thought about how Chop liked to throw parties on a regular basis, but it was too late now—they’d already found a replacement for her at her old flat.

“You’ll be here, right, Raemundo?” he said to her.

She forced a tight smile. “Try and stop me.”

***

“Rae!” said Chloe excitedly when she got to Chop’s place for the party, having spotted Rae standing in the corner.

Rae had skillfully managed to avoid too much mingling, since she didn’t really know anyone there besides Chop, at least not until Chloe and Izzy arrived together.

She said hi to the girls as they took turns giving her a hug.

“It’s been so long!” said Izzy. “How was the rest of your summer?”

“Um, good,” Rae replied. “I worked, finished my course, you know. Not much else.”

“Except the whole Finn thing,” said Chloe.

“Well…”

“Did he really run away from home just to be with you?” she added. “I can’t believe he would do such a thing.”

Rae wasn’t sure if she should be offended, but she frowned.

“You know what I mean,” Chloe said. “How could he just throw everything away like that?”

“He didn’t throw _everything_ away,” said Rae defensively. “He still has me. He has you guys. Friends, that’s what matters. Unless you think he’s not good enough now that he has no money—”

“Of course I don’t think that, Rae,” said Chloe. “But, I mean, he’s missing this party because he has to _work_. That’s so not like him.”

“If you knew him at all, you’d know that it is like him! Sure, he may not have cared about school, but he likes his job and he’s good at it.”

“Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset, I just—” Rae stopped herself before she started yelling in frustration, as that might undermine her point. “I just don’t think any of us are in a position to judge his life choices,” she added calmly.

“He’s okay, though, yeah?” said Izzy. “I worry about him sometimes.”

“He’s a twenty-year-old man, he can take care of himself,” said Rae. “He even knows how to take the bus by himself. He’s fine.”

“What do his parents think about all of this?”

Rae opened her mouth to speak but realized she didn’t know the answer. She hadn’t even considered his parents in any of this. Sure, he didn’t really get along with them, but they had to _care_ about him to some extent, right?

***

“Why are you in here?” Finn asked when he got back to his and Rae’s room after his shift to find her in bed on her laptop. “The party’s still raging out there.”

“It was just getting to be a bit much,” she said as he started to change out of his work clothes.

“You coming back out with me, though?”

“Maybe in a minute. Can we just… talk for a sec?”

He pulled on a t-shirt and sat down on the bed next to her. “Sure…” he said, eyeing her like he was afraid of what she was going to say.

“I was just wondering—or, rather, Izzy asked me, which caused me to wonder—do your parents know you’re here?” she asked.

“I sent them an email letting them know I was alive, if that’s what you mean.”

“But, like, do they care that you just ran away from everything? Do they care that you’re out on your own for the first time?”

“I’m sure they’re not pleased about it.”

“I know, but are they concerned, you know, for your wellbeing?”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“I know that,” she said. “But do they know that? Are they worrying about you?”

He exhaled a laugh. “I doubt it. They’re probably just relieved that they don’t have to deal with me anymore.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I’m not expecting a Christmas card this year, let’s just say that.”

***

Rae woke up with a start when there was a knock on the bedroom door. “What’s going on?” she grumbled.

Finn sat up next to her, blinking hard like he was trying to get his eyes to stay open. “I don’t know.”

“Finn, you’ve got a visitor!” Chop said from the other side of the door.

With a groan, Finn rolled out of bed and trudged towards the door. “Who?” he asked Chop when he opened it.

“Take a look,” said Chop, who didn’t appear amused to be woken up this early either.

Rae got up and followed Finn out to the main entrance where she stopped in her tracks when she saw who was standing there; “Jeeves.”

“No,” Finn said, shaking his head vigorously. “Just no.”

“Jeeves” said something in Swedish, and Finn responded in kind, though he sounded angry. He threw in a few English words, so all Rae caught was, “fuck no,” and “in hell,” and “pyjamas.”

Completely expressionlessly, “Jeeves” left after a couple of minutes of back and forth between him and Finn, at which point Finn slammed the door behind him and leaned against it.

“What was that about?” Rae asked when it seemed like Finn wasn’t about to be forthcoming about what the hell was going on.

“My parents sent him,” he replied. “Apparently they decided to let me have six weeks to ‘get this out of my system’ and now I’m supposed to go back.”

“What?”

“They’re threatening to cut me off completely if I don’t go.”

“I thought they already cut you off,” she said.

“They cut off my credit cards and access to my bank accounts, yes,” he said. “But I’m legally entitled to a large sum of money when I turn twenty-five, and supposedly they’re going to re-write it so that I get nothing.”

“So what are you going to do?” she asked hesitantly.

“Nothing,” he said. “I’m not going back. They can take their money and shove it.”

Rae was more than a little relieved to hear that, but she couldn’t help feeling a little guilty for taking him away from his family. “But the fact that they gave you time before coming after you shows a bit of compassion on their part, doesn’t it? Maybe you should consider trying to reconcile with your parents in some way,” she said.

“It’s just another way they try to control me,” he said. “Treating my disappearance like it was a childish tantrum that they just had to wait out.”

“Well…”

He lifted his head to look at her, frowning. “Well, what?”

“Maybe it was a bit childish…”

“You’re saying I shouldn’t have come back?”

“No, but maybe you could have worked out some sort of arrangement with them instead of just running away, that’s all.”

“An arrangement? Like what?”

“I dunno, like going back to school or something. I mean, I know you hate school, but—”

“Wait, shut up,” he said, holding up his hand. “I have an idea.”


	14. Chapter 14

Rae followed Finn as he rushed back to their room. “What idea? What are you talking about?”

He held up his hand again to shush her and sat down at the desk with his laptop. He typed something briefly before he turned the laptop to face her. “This is what I want,” he said.

She leaned forward and squinted at the screen, but she wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at. “The Culinary Institute of London?” she said when she finally managed to read the title of the website.

“Yeah,” he replied enthusiastically. “I’ve been looking into it for a few weeks now, and I was thinking I might save up money to go—it’s only a three-month course—and then I could work as a chef, and maybe even open my own restaurant some day!”

“You want to open a restaurant?” she asked.

He nodded.

“And you’ve only had this idea for a few weeks?”

“More like fifteen years,” he said. “I’ve wanted to be a chef for as long as I can remember.”

“I… Why didn’t I know this?” she said.

“It’s not something I’ve ever talked about. I always figured it could never happen, what with my family obligations, but now…”

“Well, I think it’s a great idea.”

“And maybe if my parents see me working towards a goal, they’ll at least take me seriously and stop trying to bring me back.”

“How long do you need to save up for the course?” Rae asked as she got back into the bed.

“A while, probably,” said Finn.

“Cause you have another option, you know,” she added, fluffing up the duvet around her.

“And what’s that?”

“Ask your parents to pay for it.”

He turned around in his seat to look at her. “Are you serious?”

“They were willing to pay for your education before, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“So tell them that you’ll go back to school if you get to choose the school,” she said.

“What makes you think they’d be willing to do that?”

“Your parents love you and want what’s best for you, Finn.”

He scoffed, but she continued.

“You just need to convince them that culinary school is what’s best for you,” she said. “And maybe agree to do some of that family obligation stuff, as long as it doesn’t mean you have to dump me again.”

“I don’t know…”

“I think you need to talk to them, at least. You can’t just cut them out of your life forever.”

He let out a sigh like he knew she was right. “Fine. But not today.”

***

Rae waited for Finn outside the ticket barrier at the railway station, eager for his return after spending the week with his family. There was part of her that didn’t even expect him to show up. The part of her that worried his family wouldn’t let him return to her, or worse, that he’d decide she wasn’t worth the effort.

But he did show up, and hugged her when he got through the barrier, dropping his bag to the floor.

“How did it go?” she asked. “I mean, you’re here, which is a good sign.”

“It went well,” he said as he let go of her. “Surprisingly well. I mean, there was some yelling, as there always is, but they actually agreed to send me to culinary school.”

“I told you they would!”

“They don’t really want me opening a restaurant, though, because they think it’s too risky of a business venture,” he added. “But once I’m twenty-five, I can do whatever the fuck I want, so…”

“So what are you going to do until then?” she said as they walked out towards the buses.

“Take a few courses, try to get as much experience and education as I can,” he said. “Maybe do some fundraising charity crap with my skills, to keep my folks happy.”

“How altruistic of you,” she teased. “But it does sound like you have a plan, so that’s good.”

“Unfortunately this plan means I have to move to London for three months, though,” he said. “I can come back and visit on weekends, at least, but still… It’s going to be difficult.”

“You aren’t going to break up with me again, are you?” Rae teased.

“Of course not,” said Finn. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it before I go.”

“When does it start?”

“Next week.”

“That soon?”

“If I don’t go next week then I have to wait until January for the next session,” he explained. “Besides, you’ll be busy with your classes, anyway, so it seems like as good a time as any to do it.”

“You’re right, it’s just a bit of a surprise, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry, though; Chop’s not going to kick you out of his flat or anything.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about that…”

Finn squeezed her hand. “It’s going to be fine.”

***

The next few months went by quickly. Rae was busy with school during the week, and Finn on the weekends, as well as hanging out with her other friends—and dealing with far too many of Chop’s parties. Before she knew it, the term was over and she and Finn were deciding what to do over the holidays.

“My parents expect me to be there for Christmas Eve, at least, since that’s when we do our big dinner,” he said. “But I can come back for Christmas day with your family.”

“What about gifts?” said Rae. “Do you exchange those on Christmas Eve, too?”

“We don’t do gifts in my family.”

“That’s… sad,” she said.

He shrugged. “Not really. It’s not like I want anything that I can’t get for myself.”

“I suppose…”

“Anyway, I was thinking,” he continued. “Would you be willing to come with me?”

“Come with you where?” she asked.

“Come with me to visit my family for Christmas Eve,” he said.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“I’ve already asked my parents and they said it would be all right.”

“Really? Because they didn’t seem too pleased about you dating me when they came by on your birthday.”

“That’s just because they assumed you were something of a gold digger,” he said, lowering his head in embarrassment. “Now, I’m not saying you’re their favourite person in the world, but they’ve agreed to be civil and welcoming on those occasions when your paths cross.”

“Gee, that sounds great.”

“But my sister wants to meet you, and she’s cool,” he added.

Rae thought about it for a minute. “I’d have to see if it’s all right with my mum first.”

***

It took a bit of convincing, but Rae’s mum agreed to let her spend Christmas Eve with Finn and his family under the condition that she be home in time for dinner on Christmas day.

She and Finn flew into Stockholm, where a big fancy car picked them up and drove them off into the countryside, some place with a name she couldn’t pronounce. Although his family did “migrate south for the winter,” as he called it, they still spent Christmas in their _smallest_ home in Sweden—which could have fit ten of Rae’s mum’s house inside.

When Rae and Finn arrived, they left the house staff to take their bags up to their rooms and went to find his parents in an expansive sitting room. Rae could have fit standing up in the fireplace, it was so tall. (It would have been weird for her to try, though.)

His parents were seated next to the fireplace, reading, and didn’t seem to notice Finn and Rae’s arrival until he cleared his throat loudly. They looked towards the doorway, startled and then annoyed. His mother said something in Swedish that sounded like she was irritated with him and he rolled his eyes.

“You remember my girlfriend, Rae, right?” he said, putting his hand on Rae’s back.

“Hello,” she said timidly. She wasn’t sure how to address them—was it “Mr. and Mrs. Nilsson,” or “Your Majesties?”—so she opted just to say hello.

“Yes, we remember,” said his mother, returning her attention to her book.

Rae knew that this was not really a touchy-feely kind of family, considering that they barely looked up at the arrival of their son, let alone gave him a hug. So she wasn’t expecting a heartfelt greeting from them, exactly, but a bit more would have been nice.

“Come on,” Finn said to her, turning back around. “We need to get to the media room for Donald Duck soon anyway.”

“Donald Duck?” she asked.

“The Christmas special,” he said. “It’s on television every year and almost everyone in Sweden watches it.”

“Seriously?”

He led her to the other side of the house and into a room with a huge television and several plush sofas and chairs, nothing like the rigid-looking ones from the sitting room. She was surprised to find the room wasn’t empty; a man and woman who appeared to be several years older, and two small children.

“Finn!” the woman said when they walked in. She got up and rushed over to give him a hug, saying something else in Swedish. When she let go of him, she took a step back and looked at Rae. “And who’s your friend?”

“This is Rae,” he said. “My girlfriend.”

“Finally,” she replied. “It’s nice to meet you, Rae. I’m his big sister, Astrid.” She gave Rae a hug as well, which caught her off-guard.

“Nice to meet you, too,” said Rae.

“Now,” Astrid continued, returning her attention to Finn, “I still can’t believe you got our parents to let you go to culinary school! How was it?”

“It was great,” he said. “So much better than university, because I actually gave a you-know-what about the things I was learning.” He glanced over at the children when he said “you-know-what” like he was making a conscious effort to control his language around them.

“So what are you going to do now that you’re done the course?” she asked.

“I’ll probably go back to working at the restaurant,” he said. “The sous-chef there is going on maternity leave soon, so I might apply for that job.”

“You’re the last person in the world I would have expected to actually want to _work_ ,” she said with a laugh.

“We’ll see how long it lasts,” he joked.

***

Rae was introduced to Astrid’s husband and children, and they all watched the Donald Duck Christmas special together. It was actually kind of fun.

Dinner was a bit more painful, as Finn’s parents weren’t much for chitchat, and Rae hardly recognized any of the food that was presented to her. It wasn’t bad, just weird.

She and Finn went to bed early—in separate rooms, apparently—because they had to get up early to fly back to England the next day.

***

“I was just thinking,” Rae said to Finn once they were on the plane. “Are you sure that you want to work for a living?”

“What kind of question is that?” he said, holding onto her hand.

“Just, your sister seemed so surprised that you wanted to work, and I was wondering—”

“Haven’t we been over this?” he said. “I want to stay with you.”

“But is that the only reason you chose to work?” she asked. “I don’t want to be the reason you hate your life.”

“I’m not going to hate my life, Rae. I’m finally doing something that I decided for myself.”

“And you don’t mind that you won’t be a rich playboy who does SFA when you grow up?” she said with a laugh.

“I think I’ll manage,” he said, and kissed her on the cheek.

She squeezed his hand and rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m so tired already, and we still have to do Christmas today.”

“Yeah, but you know what we get to do tomorrow, right?”

“What?” she said, looking up at his face.

He smiled at her. “Sweet fuck all.”


End file.
